Name of the Year

Sweet 16: Chrotchtangle Regional

2012-01-27T12:05:00.003-05:00

While you do the Chrotch—or is it actually the Kroch?—please enjoy the dance stylings of the Sweet 16's own Neptune Pringle III, with fellow B-Boy Break Dancer Mat Guenther, "dueling to the music of Fred Wesley & the New JBs" at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival on the National Mall in Washington last July.

Great name, great moves.

Vote.

No. 1 La'Peaches Pitts: Mazeltov to the bride and groom!
No. 13 Neptune Pringle III:. "Tunes" can dance!

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No. 14 Heidi Hohl: Realtor.

No. 2 Madz Negro: Runner.

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Sweet 16: Dragonwagon Regional

2012-01-14T21:05:00.008-05:00

We love it when the highest-brow media discover NOTY. We flash back three decades, picture Baskerville Holmes or Herman Veal or Darryl Derryberry scrawled on a piece of lined yellow paper and taped to a dorm-room door. And then we imagine our reaction had some sophomore walked by and told us that The Economist would be writing about our onomastic obsession one day.

But here we are on that august British magazine's delightfully named language blog, Johnson (after the 18th century English lexicographer Samuel Johnson). The magazine's Johnson shows us some love, lists the Sweet 16 and asserts that "many such names belong to black Americans." Blogger R.L.G. (no names at The Economist!) continues:

It's not hard to understand why those cut off for centuries from full American citizenship and human dignity might not choose Dennis or Steve for their children. Many blacks have reached for Swahili influences in choosing names, though most black Americans' ancestors came from western Africa, not Swahili's heartland on the other side of the continent. But many names are either borrowed from unusual sources (brand names like Courvoisier) or made up (Chuntania)—nothing African about either. And I can verify that I have seen an African-American checkout clerk in New Orleans whose name-tag read "Bellowney", and in the same store, a Sayonara.

This is a subject we've tackled ourselves, as have people who, unlike us, actually study names. The Economist's analysis might not be airtight, but we'll agree with its key conclusion: "There's nothing racist at having a smile upon finding a Monsterville or a Chuntania."

Which segues right into the Dragonwagon and the sadly premature throwdown between Monsterville himself and Taco. May the biggest smile win.

No. 2 Taco B.M. Monster: Dutch pharmacoepidemiologist.
No. 11 Monsterville Horton IV: Houston wine salesman.

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No. 8 RexAchilles Imperial: Texas swimmer.

No. 5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.: Beat his girlfriend.

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Sweet 16: Sithole Regional

2012-01-08T07:51:00.005-05:00

Sithole time! Vote:

No. 8 Chuntania Dangerfield: Houston county employee.
No. 4 Delorean Blow: North Carolina DWI offender.

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No. 11 Solo Alone: Australian rugby player.

No. 15 Yolanda Supersad: Georgia medical illustrator.

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Sweet 16: Bulltron Regional

2012-01-03T09:05:00.006-05:00

We won't bother you with the details of our busy fall and winter, or our existential NOTY crises. OK, we will for a second. We've been doing this for more than a quarter century, in one form or another, and we've always feared the day when a Nohjay or a Nocandy or a Sidebottom just wouldn't do it anymore. During that busy fall and winter, it felt like that day had arrived.

But we're not willing to concede to Father Time just yet. And we apologize profusely for letting this -- ack, last! -- year's tournament slide. And we're ready to accept assistance for 2012. So how about we just say, wake-up call received, Upshake, and we get back to the business of selecting a 2011 Name of the Year?

Where we were? Oh, yes. The Sweet Sixteen. Let's start with the Bulltron Regional. Vote now.

No. 9 Rockwell Bonecutter: Technology executive.
No. 12 Leviticus Payne: University of Cincinnati defensive back.

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No. 2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson : Armed robbery suspect.

No. 6 Ebenezer Noonoo: Ex-college hooper.

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The Sweet 16

2011-06-25T12:06:00.005-04:00

Here's another way to look at this year's drawn-out NOTY Tournament: More time to savor the onomastic greatness. Or, what's the rush?

The High Committee is heading overseas. Sure, they have the interwebs over there, but we just don't think posting the next round will be a high priority.

Meantime, enjoy your 2001 NOTY Sweet 16. I think we can all agree it's tragic that either Monsterville Horton IV or Taco B.M. Monster will be eliminated so soon. Seeding is a fickle science.

Happy summer.

Bulltron Regional
No. 9 Rockwell Bonecutter v. No. 12 Leviticus Payne
No. 6 Ebenezer Noonoo v. No. 2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson

Sithole Regional
No. 8 Chuntania Dangerfield v. No. 4 Delorean Blow
No. 11 Solo Alone v. No. 15 Yolanda Supersad

Dragonwagon Regional
No. 8 RexAchilles Imperial v. No. 5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.
No. 11 Monsterville Horton IV v. No. 2 Taco B.M. Monster

Chrotchtangle Regional
No. 1 La'Peaches Pitts v. No. 13 Neptune Pringle III
No. 14 Heidi Hohl v. No. 2 Madz Negro

Chrotchtangle Regional, Second Round, Part 2

2011-06-22T15:13:00.002-04:00

Vote!

No. 14 Heidi Hohl: She's a real-estate agent!
No. 11 Delector Durley Jr.: He's a Leatherneck!

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No. 7 Jadeveon Clowney: Mr. Football in South Carolina.

No. 2 Madz Negro: "Negro Leaves Health Troubles in Dust"

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Chrotchtangle Regional, Second Round, Part 1

2011-06-22T14:47:00.004-04:00

To quote Richard Ford, we're sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry about your office pools. Sorry about the stalled momentum. It's been a busy spring at NOTY. The 2011 tournament will just have to be spread over a longer period than any of us would like. (Which is why you should follow us @NOTYtourney so you don't waste time checking back to the site and find nothing new.)

We'll finish the second round and post the Sweet 16 match-ups. But then I'm afraid we're out of the country until August.

Scouting names, of course.

No. 1 La'Peaches Pitts: Get that bridesmaid dress fitted! Just 52 days away!
No. 8 Margarita Villa: South Carolina h.s. hurdler.

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No. 12 Orel Oral: University of Indianapolis swim coach.

No. 13 Neptune Pringle III: "Accomplished musician and choreographer.

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Dragonwagon Regional, Second Round, Part 2

2011-06-01T07:21:00.005-04:00

That's Monsterville Horton IV. And here are some things we have learned about him:

Monsterville Horton, IV grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area and was introduced to the exciting world of wine at the young age of seven.

His career to date has included sommelier, wine consultant, wine educator/lecturer, wine buyer and wine judge.

He has been privileged to visit, study and live in every major wine region in the world and has taught wine education and appreciation in both Europe and North America.

As one of only 135 Certified Wine Educators in the world, Monsterville has proven to possess one of the best palates on the planet.

Monsterville believes that great wine is not simple; however, it's not inscrutable either.

What we have not been able to determine:

The provenance of his name.

Vote. And follow us on Twitter @NOTYtourney.

No. 14 Dr. Loveday Conquest: University of Washington Professor, Aquatic & Fishery Sciences/Center for Quantitative Science
No. 11 Monsterville Horton IV: Houston wine salesman.

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No. 7 Rev. Demon Sox: Lutheran minister, retired.

No. 2 Taco B.M. Monster: Dutch pharmacoepidemiologist.

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Dragonwagon Regional, Second Round, Part 1

2011-05-26T22:15:00.003-04:00

Vote.

No. 1 stonegarden grindlife: UCLA grad student.
No. 8 Rexachilles Imperial: Texas swimmer.

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No. 5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.: Girlfriend beater.

No. 13 Draco Slaughter: 75-year-old who joked about having a bomb in his carry-on.

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Sithole Regional, Second Round, Part 2

2011-05-26T21:41:00.010-04:00

Sorry for the delay. Life.

In any event, Atreyu is a metafictional character from The Neverending Story,

a young Greenskin warrior from the Grassy Plains... His parents were killed by a purple buffalo soon after he was born, so his entire village raised him, thus his name means "son of all" in his native language. He is summoned by the Childlike Empress to embark on a "Great Quest" to save the land of Fantastia by finding a cure for her illness. He is given AURYN, an amulet that makes whoever wears it the Childlike Empress' herald, and he sets out on his mission with his horse, Artax.

But A'Trey-U is a 6-foot, 270-pound, redshirt sophomore LSU defensive lineman from Tickfaw, La. He's a member of the Black Male Leadership Initiative. He is pursuing a degree in management. He was the "Most Friendly" male in the Class of 2009 at Hammond High School.

Follow us @NOTYtourney. Vote.

No. 11 Solo Alone: Australian rugger.
No. 14 A'Trey-U Jones: See above.

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No. 10 Shahking Gomez: New York man.

No. 15 Yolanda Supersad: Georgia medical illustrator.

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Sithole Regional, Second Round, Part 1

2011-05-17T11:37:00.010-04:00

Yes, first-round voting in all regions is now officially closed.

Second-round balloting is in progress in the Bulltron. Two match-ups here and two more here.

Your remaining second-round pairings are:

Sithole Regional
No. 1 Atticus Disney v. No. 8 Chuntania Dangerfield
No. 4 Delorean Blow v. No. 5 Flamur Kastrati
No. 11 Solo Alone v. No. 14 A'Trey-U Jones
No. 10 Shahking Gomez v. No. 15 Yolanda Supersad

Dragonwagon Regional
No. 1 stonegarden grindlife v. No. 8 Rexachilles Imperial
No. 5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr. v. No. 13 Draco Slaughter
No. 14 Dr. Loveday Conquest v. No. 11 Monsterville Horton IV
No. 7 Rev. Demon Sox v. No. 2 Taco B.M. Monster

Chrotchtangle Regional
No. 1 La'Peaches Pitts v. No. 8 Margarita Villa
No. 12 Orel Oral v. No. 13 Neptune Pringle III
No. 14 Heidi Hohl v. No. 11 Delector Durley Jr.
No. 7 Jadeveon Clowney v. No. 2 Madz Negro

Sithole time. Vote.

No. 1 Atticus Disney: Cal Poly heavyweight wrestler.
No. 8 Chuntania Dangerfield: Houston county employee.

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No. 5 Flamur Kastrati: Norwegian footballer.

No. 4 Delorean Blow: North Carolina DWI offender.

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Bulltron Regional, Second Round, Part 2

2011-05-16T00:24:00.008-04:00

We could watch the brilliant Xtranormal animation about Boston newsman Joe Shortsleeve's set-to with Beantown firefighters all night. Which is why we're thrilled that the No. 3 seed dispatched adorable little Tuesday Muse in the first round. Now, though, he's facing a task much tougher than exposing electrified fire hydrants or lung cancer-causing airports: Ebenezer Noonoo.

As for the other Bulltron match-up, we'll take it as a compliment: Someone has named a fantasy sports team after No. 2 seed Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson.

Two votes below. Go for it.

No. 3 Joe Shortsleeve: Boston TV newsman.
No. 6 Ebenezer Noonoo: Former Chicago-area college hooper; current Bulls fan.

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No. 10 Orion Blizzard: WWII vet.

No. 2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson: Armed robbery suspect.

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Bulltron Regional, Second Round, Part 1

2011-05-14T22:17:00.008-04:00

We will miss Mercedes Bunz, who was taken out in a 52-48 squeaker by Col. Many-Bears Grinder. Not so much for her name -- a quality pun, but not Final Four material -- but for her pompous, pseudoscientific, seemingly Google-translated writings on digital media. This from a recent post on her blog about war and journalism:

When is a picture to good? Shall we make war look like a fantastic action thriller? Reporting the matériel battle is scrupulously precise. We need to be careful not to become too live, and too detailed. When does transparency turn into blind fascination? As journalists we are part of the war, and will always be. But this is awful.

When is a name too good? Never.

Two votes below.

No. 1 Monquarius Mungo: Skateboarding scofflaw.
No. 9 Rockwell C. Bonecutter: Technology executive.

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No. 12 Leviticus Payne: Top h.s. football recruit.

No. 13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder: Tennessee Commissioner of Veteran Affairs.

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2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 4

2011-05-09T13:32:00.005-04:00

And thus we conclude the first round of voting.

Thank you for your patronage.

No. 7 Jadeveon Clowney: No. 1 college football recruit in nation; handcuffed for Living While Black.
No. 10 Charlie Soap: Wilma Mankiller’s husband.

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No. 2 Madz Negro: Illinois h.s. cross-country runner.

No. 15 Judy Graham Swallows: Tennessee county register of deeds.

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2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 3

2011-05-09T13:12:00.004-04:00

Vote.

No. 3 Spartacus Chino: Illinois h.s. wrestler, nose tackle.
No. 14: Heidi Hohl: Tennessee real estate agent.

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No. 6 Happy Kumar: Philadelphia cabbie.

No. 11 Delector Durley Jr.: Western Illinois lineman.

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2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 2

2011-05-09T13:05:00.005-04:00

Vote.

No. 5 Quinta Funderburk: Arkansas WR with awesome haircut.
No. 12 Orel Oral: College swimming coach.

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No. 4 Yu Arafuka: Tokyo tour guide; Bloomberg employee.

No. 13 Neptune Pringle III: Musician.

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2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 1

2011-05-04T21:46:00.007-04:00

Welcome to the Crotchtangle Regional.

Above is a seminal document in NOTY history: the June 1990 notarized affidavit verifying two instant Name of the Year legends, first ballot members of the Hall of Name and future namesakes of brackets in this tournament, Assumption Bulltron and Doby Chrotchtangle. It's our Magna Carta, our Naismith rules, our Obama birth certificate.

And then, just a couple of weeks ago, we received an email that rocked our world:

Was looking at your website. Just wondering the origins of Doby Chrotchtangle. My last name while spelled differently is pronounced the same. I also have an aunt named Dobbi. This seems to be almost too much of a coincidence and I was wondering if someone submitted my aunt's name spelled incorrectly and that is the true origin.

We're not sure what to think, or to feel. Is Doby actually Dobbi? Is Chrotch really Kroch? Should we hunt down Eileen Farrell Reilly, who swore under oath that "Ms. DOBY CHROTCHTANGLE is a friend of a friend," and depone her one more time?

On the other hand, after 21 years and untold smiles, does it even matter?

Vote.

No. 1 La’Peaches Pitts: Bridesmaid, Saints fan!
No. 16 Cruise Citation Mangle: Arrested for assault in North Carolina.

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No. 8 Margarita Villa: South Carolina h.s. hurdler.

No. 9 Vivacious Crews: North Carolina m.s. principal.

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2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 4

2011-05-02T22:33:00.002-04:00

Taco. Mmmmmmmm.....

Vote.

No. 7 Rev. Demon Sox: Retired Lutheran minister.
No. 10 Tore Vikingstad: Norwegian hockey player.

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No. 2 Taco B.M. Monster: Dutch pharmacoepidemiologist.

No. 15 Commie Spead: Killed in an Escalade.

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2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 3

2011-05-02T22:00:00.002-04:00

Osama Bin Laden. Not much of a name.

Monsterville Horton IV. Quite a name.

Vote below.

No. 3 Philander Moore: Kick returner at Cam Newton’s juco.
No. 14 Dr. Loveday Conquest: Fish professor.

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No. 6 Ulysses Castro: MMA fighter.

No. 11 Monsterville Horton IV: Houston wine store owner.

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2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 2

2011-04-28T23:26:00.004-04:00

This might be the toughest, most well-rounded foursome in the tournament. One inexplicable Native American. One Borscht Belt-meets-True Value. One apostrophe plus Beaver Cleaver. And one stock Russian/WWF villain.

Vote now.

No. 5 Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr.: Beat his girlfriend, Leeta Old Chief. We did not make any of that up.
No. 12 Monty Hardware: Canadian basketball player.

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No. 4 I’Tavius Mathers: Tennessee high-school running back.

No. 13 Draco Slaughter: 75-year-old who joked that he had a bomb in his carry-on.

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2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 1

2011-04-28T11:14:00.010-04:00

Drungo Hazewood was a first-round pick of the Baltimore Orioles in the 1977 baseball amateur draft. He showed some power in the low minors but had trouble with good old Uncle Charlie. He reached the show for six games at age 20 in September 1980, went 0-for-5, was sent back to down to the minors, stuck around for three more seasons and was done.

Drungo played in baseball's longest game, the 33-inning affair between his Rochester Red Wings and the Pawtucket Red Sox in April (and June) of 1981. The game is chronicled in New York Times writer Dan Barry's new book, Bottom of the 33rd, which was reviewed in the Times this week. We happen to have a copy, and for NOTY purposes, the most important passage is on page 82: How Drungo Hazewood got his name. Writes the author:

His mother, Catherine, was a housewife who gave her life to raising ten children and helping to rear who knows how many grandchildren. With her ninth about to be born, Catherine announced a dare: Whoever wins a foot race to the hospital gets to name the baby. Her son Aubrey won the challenge, and he had a good friend whose last name was Drungo. So Drungo Hazewood it was.

His middle name, by the way, is LaRue.

Vote below. And please follow us on Twitter @NOTYtourney.

No. 1 stonegarden grindlife: UCLA grad student.
No. 16 Moe Lester: Canadian butcher.

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No. 8 Rexachilles Imperial: Texas swimmer. (We're now going with a lowercase A.)

No. 9 Drungo Hazewood: Baseball legend.

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2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 4

2011-04-27T11:04:00.009-04:00

That's the Shah of Iran driving a car. His full name was Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi. He was also known as Shahanshah, or King of Kings. So, yes, he was the Shah King, just like Sithole Regional No. 10 seed Shahking Gomez. And that's about where the similarity ends.

We love this group: The shocking Shahking; a good old-fashioned inexplicable first name in No. 7 Lekeebrion Jackson; the faux anonymity of No. 2 John Dough, who a recent news report said was skimming some; and the 1970s-Foxy-Brown-soul-funk-comic-book-antihero coolness of No. 15 Yolanda Supersad.

Vote.

No. 7 Lekeebrion Jackson: Iowa drug suspect.
No. 10 Shahking Gomez: Bronx man duped by health clinic.

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No. 2 John Dough: That’s Sheriff John Dough to you!

No. 15 Yolanda Supersad: Georgia medical illustrator.

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2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 3

2011-04-26T11:31:00.006-04:00

Before we get to the next set of votes, get out your ballots. Voting is closed in the Bulltron Regional.

And that means we have to bid a fond farewell to little Tuesday Muse, the plucky and inspiring Atlanta schoolgirl who's raising money for Japan's earthquake victims, taken down by the muckraking Boston newsman Joe Shortsleeve. Boston's Bravest will not be pleased.

SHORTSLEEVE!!!

So here are your second-round match-ups in the Bulltron, which will be posted after we slog through the rest of the first round:

No. 1 Monquarius Mungo v. No. 9 Rockwell Bonecutter
No. 12 Leviticus Payne v. No. 13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder
No. 3 Joe Shortsleeve v. No. 6 Ebenezer Noonoo
No. 2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson v. No. 10 Orion Blizzard

And now back to the Sithole. Two votes below.

No. 3 Lola Porch: Sued a nursing home.
No. 14 A’Trey-U Jones: LSU walk-on defensive lineman.

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No. 6 Sanmorteeno Battle: Alabama camp counselor.

No. 11 Solo Alone: Australian youth rugby player. Uh oh.

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2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 2

2011-04-21T23:13:00.006-04:00

Media round-up!

New York magazine approves. Brilliant, we humbly agree. But lowbrow? Clearly they're not regular readers.

NPR's Monkey See blog--shouldn't it be Money Hear?--praises our "subtle brilliance" but also misunderstands. We really, really, really aren't about "mocking schoolyard humor." As we've noted before, onomastics is about human behavior and cultural norms. And so is NOTY. Johnny Dickshot! Tee-hee!

Joshua Kurp of Splitsider, The Awl's humor site, asked us some very fine questions and we answered them. A good time was had by all.

Friends of NOTY Drew Magary of Deadspin and Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday podcast the bracket. Here's pretty much how it goes, for 45 minutes and 30 seconds:

Drew: Uh, [Name].

Spencer: [Intelligent joke about Name].

Drew: Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw.

Spencer: Har, har, har.

Drew: Uh, [off-color joke about Name].

And, finally, this "extension of a (moderately) successful campus radio talk show from The University of Western Ontario’s Radio Western in London, Ontario, Canada," is doing round-by-round bracket analysis of the tournament.

We are, as ever, humbled. Two votes below.

No. 5 Flamur Kastrati: Norwegian footballer.
No. 12 Quardrophenia Taylor: Louisiana woman. Google her yourself.

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No. 4 Delorean Blow: North Carolina DWI offender.

No. 13 Basil Smotherman Jr.: Purdue basketball recruit.

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2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 1

2011-04-21T14:48:00.007-04:00

Sorry. We should have told you that we were going on spring break. With children. Many children. Only one of them ours.

Let's get right back to it, shall we?

We made Atticus Disney the top seed in the Sithole Regional for a reason: We liked his both-ways style. The righteous austerity of the Christian name combined with the Mickey and Goofy joviality of the surname. We figured our No. 1 was named for the legal hero Atticus Finch of To Kill a Mockingbird, and we were correct. Atticus, a heavyweight wrestler at California Polytechnic State University, or Cal Poly, told the campus paper, the Mustang Daily, that his parents were going to name him either Atticus or Ken:

“No one likes to have the weird name when you’re little, because everyone makes fun of you,” Disney said. “But when you start getting older I think people remember you easier. I mean in class, you don’t really forget the name Atticus. I love it now.”

We do too. Two votes below.

No. 1 Atticus Disney: Cal Poly heavyweight wrestler.
No. 16 Tally Hair: NASCAR media executive.

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No. 8 Chuntania Dangerfield: Houston county employee.

No. 9 Crusoe Gongbay: Incoming New Mexico running back.

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It's Tuesday!

2011-04-12T12:13:00.007-04:00

Our cold hearts are melting!

That's Bulltron Regional No. 14 seed -- and No. 1 cutie -- Tuesday Muse holding the 2011 NOTY ballot!

Tuesday is an Atlanta kindergartner who's raising money for Japanese earthquake relief by selling her artwork for $5 a piece. Her mom says she's raised nearly $300.

Way to go, Tuesday! And good luck against Joe Shortsleeve!

2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 4

2011-04-12T11:21:00.005-04:00

NOTY reader Joshua emailed us to say that Dragonwagon Regional No. 2 seed stonegarden grindlife had been his teaching assistant in a political science class at UCLA. Josh maintained that grindlife should be removed from the ballot because

"he was born with a normal name and changed it to stonegarden grindlife himself when he was in his 20's because he's an ultra liberal hippie and wanted a name that was as bizarre and alternative as possible. (he briefed us all on this when we first showed up for class because 'What's up with your name?' is obviously the first question students have when we first see that he's our TA)"

Sorry, Josh. Legal is good enough for us. We even have a name for this policy, the Dragonwagon Doctrine, after the Hall of Name member honored in stonegarden's region, 1993 NOTY Crescent Dragonwagon.

The doctrine is upheld here in the bottom of the Bulltron with No. 15 Shalom Dreampeace Compost, a government analyst in Santa Cruz, Calif. In this fantastic story about the glut of 1960s and '70s hippie-ish name-changers in that lefty town, Compost explained in 2002 that Shalom was a birth name. But his given surname was Rich.

"It stood for something I didn’t believe in," he said. "Being rich."

Well, it also can mean "having high value or quality" or "full and mellow in tone and quality" or "meaningful, significant." But let's not harsh the buzz. Go on.

"For me, choosing the name Compost was choosing a lifestyle more in harmony with the planet Earth," he said. "Rich not only stood for material wealth but was a common first name and just seemed to cause a lot of confusion in my life."

Principle and expedience, all in one. Compost "notified everyone he knew and all the people he did business with that he was 'Compost' from now on. At the Department of Motor Vehicles, he just filled out the new name on the forms in 1976."

"It has generally been an empowering experience, having a name that is something I believe in."

Probably also a bit of a pain in the ass. Two votes below. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter @NOTYtourney.

No. 7 Mississippi Winn: Former oldest living African-American.
No. 10: Orion Blizzard: WWII vet.

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No. 2 Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson: Florida bank robbery suspect who might consider changing nickname.

No. 15 Shalom Dreampeace Compost: See above.

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2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 3

2011-04-11T13:36:00.011-04:00

Before we plunge into the bottom half of the Bulltron, a note from your sponsors:

As we type, 500 more votes have been cast in the Mercedes Bunz-Col. Many-Bears Grinder match -- 2,300 to 1,800 -- than in the one directly above it in the same post. Balloting was equal for the first 800 or so votes, and it was Grinder in a rout. Then, 200 votes later, it was Bunz by a substantial margin. We realized we had failed to activate ballot-box-stuffing controls (i.e., one vote per URL), and so we did. And lo and behold, the race tightened again.

Now the gap is 500 and we don't know whether someone has figured out a way around the controls or whether Europe is rising to vote for MrsBunz, the self-described "visionary writer on digital technology & society published in English, German, Spanish, French, Dutch" and contributor to a reductio ad absurdum manifesto on internet journalism.

In any case, we're docking Bunz 200 votes, and we suspect it should be more. Onward.

We love us some Joe Shortsleeve. The surname, as far as we can determine, comes from the French Courtemanche. Classy. But the English translation coupled with the monosyllabic 'merican first name is aurally fantastic. Joe is the "chief correspondent" for a Boston TV station, most recently the subject of interweb anger over a gotcha story in which he "caught" a Boston firetruck parked at a grocery store at lunchtime. Inside, the city's bravest were, um, buying lunch. The point: They were using the truck -- the public's truck! paid for with taxpayer dollars! -- to drive to the store and buy lunch. Which, Joe was told, is perfectly fine.

Here's another fantastic Xtranormal.com animation of the Shortsleeve story. Enjoy. And vote.

No. 3 Joe Shortsleeve: “Arguably one of the most recognizable TV news reporters in Boston.”
No. 14 Tuesday Muse: 6-year-old Atlanta do-gooder.

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No. 6 Ebenezer Noonoo: Former Illinois-Chicago forward.

No. 11 Cassanova McKinzy: Future Auburn linebacker.

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2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 2

2011-04-08T21:29:00.012-04:00

OK, fine. Separate votes for the first round it is.

There are plenty of excellent biblical names for boys -- Absalom, Elnathan (which would look fantastic with an apostrophe), Jaazaniah, Patrobus, Uzziah, Zadok, et al. Leviticus is quite the selection. Forget the parts of this book of the Bible about animal sacrifice and dietary laws and cut to the money line, in Chapter 18:

"Do not lie with a male as one lies with a woman; it is an abhorrence."

As Slate's David Plotz wrote while blogging the Bible, "a lot of ink, and probably some blood, has been spilled about the meaning of this verse." But it's hard to get around the favored conservative interpretation. So did the parents of our No. 12 seed, Leviticus Payne, a future Michigan cornerback, know of what they named? Hard to imagine they didn't. As Plotz wrote, "There is no Brokeback Mount Sinai."

As for No. 13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder, she's a she. And an all-around bad ass: combat vet, Bronze Star recipient, wife of a Vietnam vet. "Grinder’s first name was originally a nickname that stuck, so she legally changed her name." Makes you wonder what her given name was.

Two votes, below.

No. 5 Silverberry Mouhon: Cincinnati-bound defensive end.
No. 12 Leviticus Payne: Michigan-bound cornerback.

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No. 4 Mercedes Bunz: Visionary writer, if she doesn't mind saying so herself!

No. 13 Col. Many-Bears Grinder: Tennessee commissioner of veteran affairs.

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2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 1

2011-04-08T15:45:00.013-04:00

Let's get this party started.

As hard as we fought to post all 32 first-round match-ups, our fingers, time and common sense won in first-round knockout. So we're going to do the opening round in groups of four. Feel free to crunch the numbers at NOTY Prospectus, check the Vegas lines and make your first-round selection in the privacy of your home. Then decide who advances to the Sweet 16. We'll post links and results on Twitter @NOTYtourney.

First up: the top of the Bulltron.

No. 1 Monquarius Mungo: South Carolinian arrested for skateboarding in the second degree. No relation to 2009 NOTY Barkevious Mingo.
No. 16 Chelsea Poppens: Iowa State women's hooper. Bio includes this: "high school was destroyed in a F-5 tornado that tore through Parkersburg in the summer of 2008."
No. 8 Widgett Washington: JUCO point guard. National player of the week!
No. 9 Rockwell Bonecutter: Technology executive. Middle initial: C., which somehow adds to the allure. Even conservatives like funny names!

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Your 2011 Name of the Year Ballot

2011-04-04T14:46:00.012-04:00

First, a round of applause for the NOTY Design Committee, the incomparable twoeightnine, aka Matt Johnson. This year's ballot conjures handlebar mustaches and spittoons, petticoats and swinging-door saloons, numberless woolen uniforms and spikes-up slides. It's a ballot that Old Hoss Radbourn could love.

So roll up your Bulltron Regional No. 3 seed Joe Shortsleeve, put on a Chrotchtangle No. 6 Happy Kumar face, lather up with some Chrotchtangle No. 10 Charlie Soap, crack open a can of Chrotchtangle No. 13 Neptune Pringle III, and lay down your Sithole No. 2 John Dough on whoever you think will Bulltron No. 7 Mississippi Winn.

Click here for a printable bracket. Online voting will begin soon.

NOTY in SI

2011-04-01T11:04:00.004-04:00

Page 29 of the April 4 issue of Sports Illustrated. There we are.

SI has produced a "bracket of brackets." And while we are flattered to be included -- and tickled silly to see NOTY legend Assumption Bulltron's name printed in Sportsfreaking Illustrated magazine, an occurrence we could not have envisioned when drunkenly electing the convicted felon as Name of the Decade in 1992 -- we think we're criminally underseeded.

Seriously, science-fiction movies a 5? Chocolate a 4? Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive a 2?

OK, so maybe we would have settled for a 3.

2011-04-01T10:22:00.002-04:00

On Twitter @NOTYtourney.

Is This the Dawning of the Age of Monquarius?

2011-03-24T14:07:00.008-04:00

Sorry to have kept you waiting.

Week after week, month after month, for the past year you flooded our inbox with nominees. And, bless your hearts, with linkable verification. You graced us with so many nominees, in fact, that we asked NOTY friend Drew Magary to tweet his followers for help. All hail Timmy Wedell, a chef in the Turks and Caicos Islands, who, despite a schedule that included cooking for Bahamian prime minister the Right Honourable Hubert Alexander Ingraham, plowed through the submissions like the Right Steampunk Emperor Barkevious Mingo through SEC offensive lines.

Mingo has soared since his 2009 NOTY title. Last year’s people’s champion, Australian rules footballer Steele Sidebottom, lifted the Premiership Cup when he and his Collingwood Magpies ’mates won the Grand Final. (They celebrated the day after by dressing in costumes; Steele went for a Village People look.) The NOTY High Committee’s 2011 winner, Nohjay Nimpson, was recently named captain of the St. Joseph’s women’s track team.

Coincidence? We think not. These post-NOTY achievements are testament to the power of the title of Name of the Year. Impotent offensive tackles, emasculated ruckmen, intimidated female triple-jumpers from Xavier and URI -- the world bows before our onomastic kings and queens.

The NOTY Seeding Committee gathered one evening in New York City this week and, over Jack and Coke, amber ale and cranberry juice (not in the same glass), yeaed and nayed its way through the 350 or names that made it out of the inbox and onto the master list. We chose not to expand the tournament to 68 -- tradition, tradition -- and had the usual trouble whittling the pool anywhere close to 64. But persevere we did. Believe us, it wasn’t easy. Tore Vikingstad, Clifford Many Heads, Dick Longwish, Vandy Blue Spikes, Harry Baals, Rockit Storm Pettijohn, Lincoln D.C. Fishpool -- none of them made the cut, from page one of our printout alone.

So who did? We need a few more days to finalize the ballot, but we’ll tease you with the tentative No. 1 seeds:

Bulltron Regional: North Carolina skateboarder Monquarius Mungo.

Sithole Regional: Cal Poly San Luis Obispo wrestler Atticus Disney.

Dragonwagon Regional: UCLA political science grad student stonegarden grindlife (yes, he seems to prefer the lowercase).

Chrotchtangle Regional: South Carolina bridesmaid La’Peaches Pitts.

Of course, RexAchilles Imperial, the Rev. Demon Sox, Delorean Blow, Courvoisier Winetavius Richardson, Wannah Bail, Mercedes Bunz, Joe Shortsleeve, Widgett Washington, Orel Oral, Happy Kumar, Taco B.M. Monster and many others will have something to say about the outcome. And so will you.

Your 2010 Name of the Year

2010-06-03T10:31:00.011-04:00

The Man of Steele is the Name of the Year.

Not that you're surprised. Our sister nation of jocks, drinkers, surfers and -- um, what else to do they do Down Under? -- got behind their candidate and rode him like a joey on a jill to the promised land. So congratulations, Australia. With 82 percent of the vote, Aussie wonderboy Steele Sidebottom, the No. 4 seed out of the Dragonwagon Regional, routed Sithole Regional No. 11 seed Banana Yaya in the final of the 2010 Name of the Year Tournament. Have a Foster's to celebrate.

There was grumbling among NOTY commenters about whether the Collingwood footballer with the shaggy hair and boyish smile "deserved" his championship run. Personally, he wasn't our bowl of rice; we favored some of the even more linguistically creative names in the field, like the NOTY High Committee's champion, Nohjay Nimpson, or American footballer God's Power Offor, or Delaware car crasher Spontaneous Gordon. But of course we did. We seeded them No. 1 in their regions, after all.

But NOTY, and name appreciation in general, is an inexact science: He's a rammer, jammer Schwinghammer. She's a Pencilman. Sure, over the years we've come up with our own internal formula for A Great Name, and usually the wisdom of the small crowd that is the High Committee makes the arguably right call, onomastically speaking. But when we opened NOTY to the People, we knew that popularity might occasionally trump quality. That's just the way democracy works. You're Congress, we're the Executive Branch. (The High Commissioner is the Supreme Court.) We check and we balance. But we won't take away your right to vote.

So let's lift a pint to our man Steele, who really does have a corker of a name, and let's lift one to Australia, too. Thanks for stopping by, blokes. Hope you'll come back next year. Just don't expect to see Tyson Goldsack or Matt Suckling or James Polkinghorne on the ballot.

Thanks to everyone for reading, voting, nominating and commenting. Keep those 2011 NOTY nominations coming at nameoftheyear@gmail.com.

2010 NOTY Final

2010-05-26T15:08:00.006-04:00

In the 2002 World Cup, Turkey and South Korea shocked the world by advancing to the semifinals. But the upstarts didn't get any further, rightfully thwarted by traditional powers Germany and Brazil.

The World Cup analogy is fitting for the 2010 NOTY Tournament, but with a twist. A couple of onomastic minnows -- both play football, though different brands -- have powered through the field and into the big game. For the right to be called the People's NOTY, it's Cameroonian soccerer Banana Yaya taking on Australian rules footballer Steele Sidebottom.

Sidebottom, the Dragonwagon Regional No. 4 seed, rode a wave of nationalistic fervor to pound Chrotchtangle No. 16 Charity Beaver in the Final Four with 82 percent of the vote.

Yaya, the No. 11 seed in the Sithole, shocked Bulltron No. 1 seed Nohjay Nimpson, capturing 57 percent of the vote. We're not sure how he did it; we didn't see any newspaper stories about the tournament coming out of Cameroon.

So who's Your 2010 Name of the Year? Vote below.

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Our (Not Your) 2010 Name of the Year

2010-05-26T14:17:00.006-04:00

We gave the People their own NOTY tournament. But that never meant that we, the 12-member NOTY High Committee, relinquished the right to select who we believe is the true Name of the Year.

After all, we've been doing it since 1983. We're connoisseurs. We know the difference between an onomastic 1787 Chateau Lafite and a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck.

This year, you, the People, for whatever reasons, have chosen to advance the amply but not remarkably named Banana Yaya and Steele Sidebottom to the finals of the 2010 NOTY Tournament. We, the High Committee, did our part to uphold the reputation of this endeavor.

So please give a NOTY round of applause to the 2010 Name of the Year (High Committee):

Nohjay Nimpson

In case you're just joining us, Nohjay is a women's track-and-field star at St. Joseph's University in Philadelphia. The Philly native specializes in the triple jump, and just a couple of weeks ago she took first place in the Swarthmore Last Chance meet with a leap of 37 feet 9 1/2 inches.

Today, she leaps into the NOTY history books by amassing four first-place votes and a total of 230 points. (Names received five points for advancing to the second round, then 10, 15, 20, 25 and 40 for the champion.) Milwaukee student Dinero Fudge finished second with 205 points, followed by Miami high-school footballer God's Power Offor (180), Delaware driver Spontaneous Gordon (145) and New York man Spartacus Bernstein (140).

And the People's choices? The "Man of Steele" tied for 14th with 80 points, while Banana Yaya tied for 21st place with 65.

Here's our top 25:

1. Nohjay Nimpson 230 points (4 first-place votes)
2. Dinero Fudge 205 (2)
3. God's Power Offor 180 (2)
4. Spontaneous Gordon 145 (1)
5. Spartacus Bernstein 140 (1)
6. Wave Ryder 135
7. Dr. Speedy Nutz 135 (2)
8. Pencilman Jeffries 130
9. Hannukkah Wallace 115
10. X'Zavier Bloodsaw 110
11. Starzanne Stipes 90
Aristotle Socrates
13. Napoleon Einstein 85
14. Steele Sidebottom 80
Typhoon Nurse
16. Flavius Killebrew 75
Jesus Leonardo
18. Furious Bradley 70
Pocahontas Outlaw
ShaMiracle Johnson
21. Rich Tanguy 65
Banana Yaya
Pamela Balls Organista
Just-in'love Smith
25. Charity Beaver 60
Selathious Bobo
Gregor Schwinghammer Jr.
Nubian Peak

The Final Four

2010-05-18T13:18:00.009-04:00

God is dead.

We would not have predicted it. God's Power Offor, the Nigerian-born, 6-foot-2, Miami h.s. defensive end and Sithole Regional No. 1 seed, who came to his name in honest fashion -- his parents believed his birth was a sign of God's power -- was eliminated by Cameroonian footballer Banana Yaya by a count of 52% to 48%. Somewhere, Andy Staples weeps.

Elsewhere, Bulltron No. 1 Nohjay Nimpson made surprisingly easy work of No. 2 X'Zavier Bloodsaw. In the Chrotchtangle, No. 15 Pat Angerer's NOTY dream was snatched away by No. 16 Charity Beaver , who captured a stunning 74% of nearly 5,700 votes cast.

Which bring us to Australia. The support of an entire nation is hurtling Dragonwagon No. 4 seed and Aussie rules footballer Steele Sidebottom on a collision course with destiny -- and we don't mean Frankenstein. Steele treated his worthy Elite Eight opponent, No. 3 Starzanne Stipes, like a Tasmanian beer-league back pocket, racking up 64% of 6,600 votes.

Steele is dangerous. His NOTY effort is a all the media rage Down Under. His Facebook page has 674 fans. And his factotum, a blogger named Upshake, is chronicling the campaign like an onomastic Theodore White. (Thanks to Upshake for artwork.)

So will it be Beaver or 'bottom? Nohjay or Yaya? Vote below.

Hey, Australia. We know you love Steele, but it's not just about your midfielder. Please vote in the first semifinal match as well.

No. 1 Nohjay Nimpson: St. Joe's javeliner/triple-jumper.
No. 11 Banana Yaya: Cameroonian footballer.

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No. 4 Steele Sidebottom: Ten goals in eight games this season!

No. 16 Charity Beaver: “I’m a wino,” she says, laughing. “And I

love cheeseboards. I have one at least once a week.”

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Elite Eight, Part 2

2010-05-10T21:36:00.016-04:00

Our fellow Americans. (And you Australians, too.)

There is no task more solemn than the one passed down to us by our founding fathers, who summon us from the past to execute their humble vision for this republic. We honor their memory, we accept this responsibility, we cherish this task. We vote for the Name of the Year.

And though we are bound by duty to accept the will of the People, we also fear the tyranny of the mob. We have seen it rear its ugly head before. In 2008, a feelgood network of sycophants and toadies fashioned a cult of personality around Spaceman Africa. We have also witnessed the wisdom of the crowd, the uplifting rally in 2009 behind that movable feast of onomastic joy, Barkevious Mingo, whose kingdom shall have no end.

Now come this year's candidates with their personal David Axelrods and their entourages of adoring fans. Yes, Chrotchtangle Regional No. 15 seed Pat Angerer, of course, husked enough votes in the great, flat state of Iowa to score a slim 51-49 majority over No. 3 Pencilman Jeffries. And in the Dragonwagon, No. 4 Steele Sidebottom had an entire nation -- Australia -- get out the vote in his similarly close victory over beloved No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon.

We mourn the vanquished -- not only our respected friends Spontaneous and Pencilman but Just-in'love Smith and Furious Bradley and their fallen brethren. The right side of the bracket is, we declare, the weak side of the bracket. Yet we implore the public -- from Ames to Adelaide, from Sioux City to Sydney -- to set aside petty partisanship and choose those names that embody the true spirit of NOTY, the names that will bring pride to this planet and honor to the solemn task for which you, the People, have been chosen.

Vote well. Vote honestly. Vote twice.

No. 4 Steele Sidebottom: Collingwood Magpie.
No. 3 Starzanne Stipes: Zanesville, Ohio, soccer player.

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No. 16 Charity Beaver: "I train a lot of the Highland Park

cheerleaders. And I work with an autistic girl. I love her. She

brightens up even the worst day.”

No. 15 Pat Angerer: Former Iowa linebacker. Video tribute!

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Elite Eight, Part 1

2010-05-10T13:12:00.007-04:00

Before everyone gets her bile up again about Chrotchtangle Regional No. 15 seed Pat Angerer making it this far, let's take a timeout to acknowledge the greater impact of Angerer's nomination -- and the force for good in the world to which NOTY aspires, and occasionally achieves.

Here's the story: Erstwhile Iowa linebacker makes the 2010 NOTY Ballot. Hawkeyes' blog Black Heart Gold Pants dutifully picks up the cause. An editor there,Hawkeye State, who happens to be a lawyer in his spare time, clicks the link to Bulltron Regional No. 14 seed Cynnamon Crabb, whom we identified as the wife of an Iowa copper thief.

Take it away, Hawkeye State:

I have had a car accident file closed for over two years where a guy ran into a parked police car. I couldn't find him for months, and eventually gave up looking. That is, until I saw that Cynammon Crabb was the wife of an Iowa copper thief. At the tail end of the story of her husband's (and brother-in-law's) arrest, there was the following paragraph:

Sheriff's officials said 20-year-old Andrew Graham Trousil-Bagan of Fort Madison and 17-year-old Marquis Rashaad Jones of Burlington along with Benjamin Crabb went inside the home of Timothy Weyls Jr. at 12609 90th St., with the intent to rob Weyls of drugs.

Detectives said Benjamin Crabb went to Weyls' bedroom and started hitting him with a .38-caliber handgun. The gun accidentally went off, hitting Weyls in his right arm.

There he was, with an address and everything: Tim Weyls, the guy who hit the parked police car in 2006. Huzzah, gentlemen! Huzzah indeed!

We're pleased to report that NOTY's America's Most Wanted turn didn't influence Hawkeye's leanings. He still voted for Bulltron No. 1 seed Nohjay Nimpson in the Sweet 16.

Let's vote. We'll do this in two installments. First, the stacked Bulltron and Sithole regional finals:

No. 1 Nohjay Nimpson: St. Joe's jumper/javeliner.
No. 2 X'Zavier Bloodsaw: Texas College quarterback.

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No. 1 God's Power Offor: Miami h.s. defensive end.

No. 11 Banana Yaya: Cameroonian footballer.

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Sweet 16: A Word From the Commissioner

2010-05-06T10:07:00.007-04:00

A lot of testy voters in the Sweet 16, and we understand. Even the High Commissioner is exercised. From the private island in the South Pacific where he's tutoring Barkevious Mingo for finals, the High C telexed us his thoughts. (No, we're not sure when he turned into Larry King.)

The Angerer-Jeffries bracket pisses me off; these names both suck. I'm so out of touch now. ... Can't believe the Beave is going to go to the final 8. ... The Gordon-Sidebottom match is classic NOTY. ... Stipes better get past Balls-O otherwise my ticket is dead. ... Can't believe that Banana is taking down Tronic Williams.

If you don't think Chrotchtangle No. 15 seed Pat Angerer deserves to advance over No. 3 Pencilman Jeffries, or that Dragonwagon No. 4 Steele Sidebottom, whatever his Aussie rules football talents, is an empirically better name that No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon, then get out the vote.

Angerer-Pencilman is a close enough that a late flurry of ballots could change the outcome. Spontaneous-Steele, in the words of Eddie's father in Diner, could go either way. And No. 3 Starzanne Stipes vs. No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista in the 'wagon. is officially a throw-down: As we type, the ladies are separated by just one vote.

We'll leave the polls open until Friday.

Sweet 16: Chrotchtangle Regional

2010-04-30T10:28:00.010-04:00

Our friends at Black Heart Gold Pants have acknowledged their old-school-tie support for Iowa linebacker and Chrotchtangle Regional No. 15 seed Pat Angerer, who upset No. 7 seed Furious Bradley in the first round. They've even acknowledged that the Hawkeye has an uphill battle in his regional semi-final against No. 3 seed Pencilman Jeffries.

Helmets off to you, Black Heart Gold Pants. It's not easy to set aside homerism in this or any competitive endeavor. But NOTY is a sacred trust. Your objective choices on these epic round-by-round questions will determine not just a "winner" but onomastic greatness.

Angerer, by the way, has his head on straight, too. He was asked recently how much of a dream it was growing up to make a NOTY ballot:

I think it’s every kid’s, but it wasn’t such a reality until I started believing in it.

OK, he was actually asked about playing in the NFL someday. But we don't see much of a difference.

This wraps up the Sweet 16 match-ups. Vote now, and please spread the word.

No. 16 Charity Beaver: “To learn that I really do make a difference in the lives of others is a good feeling.”
No. 4 Spartacus Bernstein: Taught cooking classes for men in 1973!

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No. 3 Pencilman Jeffries: Drug dealer, murderer.

No. 15 Pat Angerer: Indianapolis Colt.

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Sweet 16: Dragonwagon Regional

2010-04-29T21:37:00.010-04:00

That's young Steele Sidebottom, Dragonwagon Regional No. 4 seed, Aussie rules footballer extraordinaire.

Steele was drafted by the Collingwood Magpies, who play in Melbourne. He used to be on the Murray Bushrangers, who play in Wangaratta -- Wang for short. In either locale, Steele is "used to copping a few comments about his name. And Sidebottom says that hasn’t been any different at Magpieland."

Magpieland! We love us some Aussie sports journalese.

“I’ve got a few nicknames like BlueScope and stuff,” Sidebottom said.

We looked it up. BlueScope is an Australian steel company. We love us some Aussie humor.

“They’re coming strong already … every time you sort of leave a room, they’re always [yelling] ‘Steele!’ and you turn around and they’re not looking.'

(Sidebottom sort of leaves the room.)

Steele!

Steele has his Facebook posse (167 members). No. 1 seed Spontaneous Gordon has hers (66 fans). Unlike the earlier regional semis, this should be a close one. As should the region's other tilt, No. 3 Starzanne Stipes v. No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista

Both match-ups below. Vote.

No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon: Wilmington, Del., woman who drove into a bus.
No. 4 Steele Sidebottom: Medium defender with neat disposal by foot.

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No. 3 Starzanne Stipes: Plays soccer in Zanesville, Ohio.

No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista: University of San Francisco psych prof.

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Sweet 16: Sithole Regional

2010-04-27T23:42:00.010-04:00

That's a drawing by cartoonist Mark Poutenis that accompanied a story in the alt weekly Miami New Times a few weeks back about Sithole No. 1 seed God's Power Offor's NOTY bid.

Let's break it down: G.P. is on the left -- white, buff, and Christian, an apparent cross between Sampson and the Cowardly Lion -- smiting some NOTY challengers: Hitler (Makofane), Stalin (Felipe) and Dr. Speedy Nutz. We'll be pitching our NOTY superhero comic book and movie series in the morning.

In real life, of course, G.P. is a Nigeria-born junior defensive end at American High School in Hialeah, Fla. He really looks like this. He romped through the first round of balloting with a NOTY-leading 59 percent of his quadrant. And, as we previously chronicled, he loves his name.

And now we will go for the easy joke: It will take a ShaMiracle to stop G.P.O. in the Sithole. Vote now (two matches). And, of you haven't already, scroll down and vote in the Bulltron Regional, too.

No. 1 God's Power Offor: Miami favorite.
No. 4: ShaMiracle Johnson: Georgia law school graduate.

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No. 11 Banana Yaya: Cameroonian soccer player.

No. 2 Tronic Williams: Western Michigan defensive back.

Teammates posted NOTY bracket in the locker room!

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Sweet 16: Bulltron Regional

2010-04-27T11:15:00.015-04:00

2010 NOTY champ Barkevious Mingo puppetmaster Spencer Hall recently dubbed this year's field "the Brazil '70 World Cup team of NOTY classes." The first-round results support that lofty claim.

A No. 1 seed, Just-in'love Smith, was bounced, a first. And that was just the beginning of the carnage. Dinero Fudge. Melted. Aristotle Socrates. Outthunk. Napoleon Einstein. Waterlooed. Hannukkah Wallace. Shalomed. (For the record, it was Hitler (Makofane) over Stalin (Felipe) in the dictator bracket.)

Now to the Sweet 16. We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but as NOTY friend and sportswriter Michael Weinreb (preorder his new book) recently Tweeted, the all-but-certain Nohjay Nimpson-X'Zavier Bloodsaw regional final "could be the Duke-Kentucky of our age."

We'll do this one region per post, which means you have to cast two votes below. Godspeed.

No. 1 Nohjay Nimpson: St. Joe's women's track and fielder. She had a good fall season!
No. 12 Sequoyah Stonecipher: Greensboro Grasshoppers left fielder.

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No. 14 Cynnamon Crabb: Wife of Iowa copper thief.

No. 2: X'Zavier Bloodsaw: Texas College quarterback.

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2010 NOTY: Sweet 16

2010-04-24T00:12:00.004-04:00

As promised, we kept balloting in the final quadrants of the first round open until precisely midnight, and with good reason. The Chrotchtangle Regional battle between No. 7 Furious Bradley and No. 15 Pat Angerer was the closest race in NOTY history.

Final tally: Angerer 758, Bradley 755.

Drafted into the NFL, advancing in NOTY. Surely this was the greatest day in the life of one Pat Angerer. But let's also recognize Charity Beaver, who became the first No. 16 seed in NOTY history to take out a No. 1 (the great Just-in'love Smith).

Here are your Sweet 16 match-ups:

Bulltron Regional
No. 1 Nohjay Nimpson v. No. 12 Sequoyah Stonecipher
No. 14 Cynnamon Crabb v. No. 2 X'Zavier Bloodsaw

Sithole Regional
No. 1 God's Power Offor v. No. 4 ShaMiracle Johnson
No. 11 Banana Yaya v. No. 2 Tronic Williams

Dragonwagon Regional
No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon v. No. 4 Steele Sidebottom
No. 3 Starzanne Stipes v. No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista

Chrotchtangle Regional
No. 16 Charity Beaver v. No. 4 Spartacus Bernstein
No. 3 Pencilman Jeffries v. No. 15 Pat Angerer

10 a.m. update: Some late votes may appear to have pushed Furious Bradley past Pat Angerer. They don't count. Angerer wins.

NOTY in the NFL

2010-04-23T21:38:00.004-04:00

Let give a NOTY cheer for Chrotchtangle No. 15 seed Pat Angerer, who was selected a short time ago by the Indianapolis Colts in the second round of the NFL draft.

Just because we're not big fans of Angerer's upset bid in the Crotch doesn't mean we're not proud. When a NOTY name makes it big, we bask in its reflected glory.

So it's been a good day, because Angerer wasn't the only NOTY talent on Mel Kiper's draft board. Congrats also to Mississippi running back Dexter McCluster, a No. 6 seed in the 2009 NOTY Tournament, who was taken earlier in the second round by the Kansas City Chiefs.

Let's Vote, People

2010-04-22T10:11:00.008-04:00

It's a NOTY tradition: Voting tails off in the Chrotchtangle, the last of the four NOTY regionals.

Why? Human nature, we guess. The masses get excited about the arrival of the ballot. They vote eagerly in the Bulltron and the Sithole. Then the media spotlight dims and less important duties intrude: work, relationships, children.

But in this age of Twitter and Facebook, there is no excuse for shirking one's democratic responsibility. Subscribe to NOTY in an RSS or other feeder of your choice, for crying out loud.

Because low turnout can have dire consequences. In this case, the potential first-round elimination of Selathious Bobo and Furious Bradley by voters substituting youthful collegiate partisanship for onomastic quality.

We'll leave open the balloting in the bottom of the Dragonwagon and the Chrotchtangle for a couple more days before starting the Sweet 16. Scroll down and vote now. And may justice prevail.

2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 4

2010-04-19T21:12:00.003-04:00

This could be our favorite quadrant in the tournament. All football players. All with major name 'tude. And some anger-management issues.

These guys should get together and do a cop show or a superhero comic book.

Pick one.

No. 7 Furious Bradley: Mississippi h.s. running back.
No. 10 Whitney Mercilus: Illinois defensive lineman.
No. 2 Wave Ryder: Hawaii h.s. safety. Who has committed to Navy. Yes, Navy.
No. 15 Pat Angerer: Iowa linebacker.

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2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 3

2010-04-18T23:34:00.007-04:00

Quadrant 3 of the Chrotchtangle Regional, named for 1991 Name of the Year Doby Chrotchtangle. Vote

Chrotchtangle Update: Foxy Foxworth has been INVALIDATED and removed from the ballot. His actual name, well hidden, unsurprisingly, on the interwebs, is Eugene. But the South Carolina tight end did make the 2008-09 SEC Fall Honor Roll. Congratulations, Eugene!

No. 3 Pencilman Jeffries: New Hampshire heroin dealer.
No. 14 Frantanzy Bryant: Florida h.s. safety.
No. 6 Foxy Foxworth: INVALIDATED.
No. 11 Romulus Marino: Pennsylvania h.s. quarterback.

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2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 2

2010-04-18T22:22:00.013-04:00

Meet Chrotchtangle Regional No. 5 seed Flavius Killebrew. He's the president of Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. He's 6-foot-7, 250 pounds. He's got an excellent stash -- and an excellent perspective on what it means to have a name of both note and NOTY.

"It's kind of a fun deal," Killebrew said. "With a name like Flavius, you're used to going through life with people saying, 'Your name's what?' When I was a kid, I didn't have much problem because I was so much bigger in height. As an adult, most somewhat educated people know it's Roman and comes out of Shakespeare."

Dr. Killebrew clearly possesses a rare quality for an academic: He doesn't take himself too seriously. He made the above comments in an interview with the Corpus Christi Caller about his NOTY nomination. That story says that we emailed the president and that he was "skeptical" but asked a university spokesman to check us out. We never got in touch; we're guessing that he was referring to our Canadian reporter friend Misty Harris, to whom Killebrew acknowledged the benefits of a NOTY-worthy name.

"And as an adult, [the name] has been a good thing. ... It’s hard for people to forget me. I’m 6-foot-7, for one thing, and I’ve got a distinctive name, so I literally stand out in a crowd."

We like the good president for more than just his onomastic attitude. His name is a rare and beautiful juxtaposition of Roman history and baseball history, of the bard and the ballyard, of Julius Caesar and Cesar Tovar.

And if you need proof that life imitates art -- we're not well-read enough to have done this intentionally -- look no further than Act 1, Scene 1 of Julius Caesar, in which Flavius asks a passing laborer:

Thou art a cobbler, art thou?

Oh, he's a cobbler, all right.

No. 5 Flavius Killebrew: Above.
No. 12 Mister Cobble: Kentucky defensive tackle.
No. 4 Spartacus Bernstein: Brooklyn man named in 1990 New York Times story.
No. 13 Bambang Parmanto: Disgraced science journal editor.

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2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 1

2010-04-17T22:19:00.010-04:00

When a member of the television media interviews someone with an unusual name about his unusual name, hilarity usually abounds. If there’s a joke to be made about your name, it’s probably already been made. But frozen-smile teleprompter readers are required to behave as if they’ve discovered something the subject has never considered.

What’s that you say? My name is Barkevious? I did not realize!

This interview by ESPN's Jay Crawford with Chrotchtangle Regional No. 1 seed Just-in’love Smith is a classic of the genre. At the time he appeared on the four-letter last fall, Smith was a 26-year-old guard for Siena. Why so old? Because he served four years in the military, including one in Iraq. Sounds like an interesting guy. Let’s see how Jay handled the assignment:

What’s in a name? For Siena basketball player Just-in’love Smith, an awful lot.

Rhetorical cliche. Inane follow up. Perfect.

You might say he’s arrived ... just in time.

And the 2009 ESPY for Worst Script Writing goes to ... Jay Crawford!

Welcome to the program, Just-in. I’m sure there is a fan-tas-tic story behind [swallowed anchorman chuckle] your name. What is that story?

Just-in’s brain: Let’s see if I can get this over with quickly.

Uh, my mother named me Just-in’love because she was just in love with me.

Very nice! I like that! Short, sweet!

I’m glad you like the simple answer I’ve concocted to get asshats like you to shut up.

What do your teammates think of your name?

Ask me about Iraq, man. Or what it's like to be a 26-year-old D-I walk-on. Or about my dead mother.

I’m wondering what the ladies think of your name?

They love my name. but I’m engaged, so now it’s like the name is no good for the ladies no more.

You’d think that answer would have embarrassed Jay into moving on to other topics. But no. He needs to ask about Just-in’s nicknames “back home.” Then the requisite question about his military service. Then an inquiry into his aspiration to be a stand-up comic. And whether he’ll use his name as part his act.

Jay Crawford: Just-in'sufferable.

Vote.

No. 1 Just-in'love Smith: Above.
No. 16 Charity Beaver: Dallas personal trainer.
No. 8 Dr. Festus Dada: Gastric-bypass specialist suing Lenny Dykstra.
No. 9 Karma Sherpa: New York cabbie.

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NOTY on Twitter

2010-04-15T10:35:00.005-04:00

Not only are our Australian friends pimping for their boy, Dragonwagon Regional No. 4 seed Steele Sidebottom, they're pimping for NOTY, too.

Adelaide blogger Upshake -- who has subtitled his site in honor of the "Man of Steele" -- has started a NOTY Twitter feed. You can follow the action @NOTYresults. If you Tweet about the tournament, make sure to use the hashtag #noty.

And don't forget to become a fan of Name of the Year on Facebook. We're at 571 and counting.

Speaking of results, No. 1 seed Spontaneous Gordon advances easily in the first quadrant of the Dragonwagon with 54 percent of the vote. Balloting continues in the the other three contests below. Scroll and vote now.

2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 4

2010-04-14T23:22:00.008-04:00

"WHO IS VOTING FOR STEELE SIDEBOTTOM?!?!" asks NOTY commenter Whit Perkins.

We'll tell you who. Australia.

The 19-year-old midfielder with the Collingwood Magpies of the Australian Football League currently has 50 percent of the vote in Part 2 of this regional. He's also getting a lot of buzz Down Under. Some Aussie has even started a Facebook page for his candidacy. Oy oy oy.

People, we could have another Spaceman Africa situation here. And we don't mean a name-changer; we mean a worldwide get-out-the-vote drive.

It's on, Australia. It is so on.

The bottom of the Dragonwagon. Vote for one:

No. 7 Selathious Bobo: Alleged meth dealer. No link, but we've seen the legal documents. Federal docket Nos. 99-6013; 99-6014
No. 10: Can Du: RAND Corp. researcher.
No. 2 TyQuan Hammock: Michigan State linebacker.
No. 15 Pamela Balls Organista: University of San Francisco psychologist.

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2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 3

2010-04-14T23:00:00.003-04:00

Quadrant 3 of the Dragonwagon. Vote.

No. 3 Starzanne Stipes: Walsh University women's soccer player.
No. 14 Magnum Rolle: Louisiana Tech basketball player.
No. 6 Aristotle Socrates: Princeton theoretical astrophysicist.
No. 11 Pepi Hamburger: 103-year-old woman happy-birthdayed by Willard Scott.

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2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 2

2010-04-12T13:59:00.008-04:00

NOTY is getting a ton of pub this spring, for which we are grateful. Here's a quick sampler.

--Former Deadspinner Rick Chandler weighs in at Out of Bounds on NBC Sports.com.
--Enterprising Canadian reporter Misty Harris (good name!) emails various NOTY contestants, with excellent results.
--NOTY friend Dan Levy breaks down the bracket for The Sporting Blog.
--2009 NOTY Barkevious Mingo puppetmaster and Every Day Should Be Saturday proprietor Spencer Hall interviews us on SB Nation.
--Hall joins NOTY friend Drew Magary to break down the bracket on the Deadcast.
--The Miami New Times pumps up the love for local product God's Power Offor.
--The Fort Myers News-Times asks Sithole Regional No. 2 seed Tronic Williams about NOTY. (He hasn't voted yet!)
--And, finally, Roll Call (subscription required) tracks down Dragonwagon Regional No. 13 seed Pizza Ashby, a Democratic staffer on the House Homeland Security Committee, for her story:

Her mother was really hungry on the day she was born (it was Christmas) and named her after a commercial that came on TV. “I’m just glad there wasn’t a commercial for hot dogs,” Ashby says. “Or else things could have turned out differently.”

Think she's used that line before? Vote for one.

No. 5 Dinero Fudge: Milwaukee student.
No. 12 Shevelle Six: 2009 Spelling Bee competitor.
No. 4 Steele Sidebottom: Australian rules footballer.
No. 13 Pizza Ashby: Congressional staffer.

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Pardon the Interruption

2010-04-11T23:27:00.005-04:00

Sorry, NOTY voters. We were out of town, swamped with work and unable to find even a smidge of time to post the next rounds of NOTY balloting.

But fear not. Dragonwagon Regional voting will resume tomorrow, Monday, April 12, and we'll blow through the rest of the first round and get to the Sweet 16.

Meantime, balloting in the Sithole Regional is officially closed. Advancing in the Sithole are: No. 1 God's Power Offor, No. 4 ShaMiracle Johnson, No. 11 Banaya Yaya and No. 2 Tronic Williams.

Can anyone stop G.P.O.? Stay tuned.

NOTY on Facebook

2010-04-05T22:46:00.004-04:00

Please join our new, cleverly named Facebook group: Name of the Year. We'll use it to link back to the blog to update you, The People, when a new round of voting has begun and on other crucial NOTY news and information.

We've already invited our closest Facebook friend, the omnipotent Barkevious Mingo, to become a fan. Destiny Frankenstein, we're waiting for you.

2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 1

2010-04-05T20:56:00.003-04:00

Balloting in the Bulltron Regional is officially closed. The No. 1 and 2 seeds -- Nohjay Nimpson and X'Zavier Bloodsaw -- move on to the Sweet 16 with, respectively, 40 percent and 50 percent of the vote in their quadrants. (Farewell, Lolita Respectnothing; the tip of the tongue took a trip much too short.)

A couple of upsets in the other two quadrants: No. 12 Sequoyah Stonecipher romped, while No. 14 Cynammon Crabb ended the dream Hannukkah Wallace-Hitler Makofane second-round matchup, and took out Stalin Felipe, too. Clearly, Hannukkah, Hitler and Stalin divided the vote.

On to the Dragonwagon Regional, named for our good friend, 1993 NOTY Crescent Dragonwagon. Vote for one:

No. 1 Spontaneous Gordon: Delaware woman who crashed her car into a parked bus.
No. 16 Shy Ely: NBDL guard. Full name: Shyron Quonell Ely. Son of Shy-Quon and Jean Ely.
No. 8 King Jamell Modest: Albany teen murder suspect.
No. 9 Gregor Schwinghammer Jr.: Florida lawyer.

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2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 4

2010-04-03T16:53:00.005-04:00

We love this quadrant of the Sithole Regional. Some high-quality, old-school names that have it going both ways. And Tronic Williams, who's only got it going one way, but that one way is all the way. Tronic struck us as so cool, so hip, so e-lec-tronic that he climbed in the seedings despite, or perhaps because of, his pedestrian surname.

But let's discuss Nubian Peak, full name Nubian Shabazz-Zoser Peak, a Virginia Tech redshirt freshman flanker. His parents, Vernon and Donna Peak, named him, the Roanoke Times reports, "after the Nubians, an African ethnic group known for their intelligence, wealth and progressive culture."

“They were a very smart race,” Nubian Peak said. “And my dad just felt — well, I didn’t really know what he was thinking at the time — but he just stuck me with that name. It has a lot of sentimental meaning to me. A lot of people don’t understand, but I take pride in it.”

We understand. Fully.

Vote for one:

No. 7 Nubian Peak: Above.
No. 10 Daequon Montreal: Boise State forward.
No. 2 Tronic Williams: Western Michigan safety. In the news!
No. 15 Waver Brickhouse: Brooklyn woman victimized in mortgage scam.

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Just So We're Clear

2010-04-03T16:33:00.005-04:00

Given the tragic invalidation of the pseudonymous Dick Smallberries Jr. and the necessary expulsions of the nicknamed Charles "Two" Willis and Artina "Peachy" Trader, as a public service we're reposting the above jpeg and a link to the printable pdf of what we surely hope is the official and final 2010 Name of the Year Ballot.

Logistics: First-round voting will remain open for one week after the post date, or close to it anyway. Since we didn't give advance notice on a timetable, we'll leave open voting in Part 1 of the Bulltron Regional until tomorrow night, Sunday, April 4, and then start shutting down the other quadrants one day at a time.

At this rate, we'll crown a 2010 NOTY in May. But you know it'll be worth the wait.

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 3

2010-03-31T22:03:00.006-04:00

Here at NOTY we've been burned in the past by frauds and schemes that make Bernie Madoff look like Spiral Lightninghawk. Someday we'll rehash the Mummenschontz Bitterbeetle/Licentious Beastie scandal; the perpetrators remain at large. And, as you know, we've already had to toss two names off of this year's ballot.

So blame the Audit Committee for lax enforcement. Blame the Seeding Committee for laughing too hard. Blame us all for wanting, in these cynical times, to believe in something wholesome and good. Because this one really hurts.

Sithole Regional No. 3 seed Dick Smallberries Jr. is INVALIDATED.

In the pantheon of Dick names -- Nascar racer Dick Trickle, Congressman Dick Swett, baby Charley Willard Horse Dick, de facto 1999 NOTY Dick Surprise -- it looked real, or at least real enough. "Smallberries" had a Wikipedia entry. He had a long list of voice acting credits in video games and anime. So when his name dropped in our inbox a year ago, we added it to the master list. And when we Googled, we found nothing dissuade us from our innocent belief in the possible.

And then we stumbled on this troubling thread on Mania.com -- "a leading website dedicated to providing avid Comic Book, Anime, Movie fans with news and feature stories about Comic Book, Fantasy, SciFi, Horror & Anime" -- about Smallberries' credit in Ah My Buddha, the anime adaptation of the "mature rated manga" by Toshinore Sogabe.

bearcounty: Please don't tell me that's his real name!?

EmperorBrandon: No, it's not his real name.

As we learned from the Nohjay Nimp...we mean O.J. Simpson trial, when in doubt, throw it out (or something like that). So in the absence of clear evidence that Smallberries is real, for the integrity of the 2010 NOTY Tournament and for the sake of future NOTY generations, we humbly take the prudent course. Fortunately, we've got a very deep bench.

Vote for someone else:

No. 3 Pocahontas Outlaw: Former ACORN board member. Glenn Beck liked her name!
No. 14 Chinook Bacon: Oakland teen charged with murder.
No. 6 Napoleon Einstein: Indian cricket player.
No. 11 Banana Yaya: Cameroonian soccer player.

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2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 2

2010-03-30T21:49:00.004-04:00

An excellent mix of name stylings in the second quadrant of the Sithole Regional, which is named, of course, for 1985 NOTY Godfrey Sithole.

Vote for one:

No. 5 Coke Wisdom O'Neal: New York photographer who "builds 22-foot-high wood boxes and shoots people standing inside them."
No. 12 Typhoon Nurse: Male Canadian basketball player.
No. 4 ShaMiracle Johnson: University of Georgia law student.
No. 13 Roy Spancake: Editorial Committee member, Pennsylvania Lodge of Research. Our first NOTY Freemason!

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2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 1

2010-03-29T22:17:00.013-04:00

Sometimes we think NOTY would make an awesome reality show. Call it Behind the Names. Get Bear Grylls to host. Put it on Discovery. Ratings gold.

The first 2010 sweeps week episode would have to be about Sithole Regional No. 1 seed God’s Power Offor. NOTY friend Andy Staples of SI.com has done the biographical legwork on the Nigeria-born, 6-2, 205, h.s. junior defensive end from Hialeah, Fla. (pictured above). Here's the story:

Justice Offor believed that the birth of his son was a sign of God’s power. So that’s what he named him. In Nigeria, a far more onomastically creative and tolerant society than our own, people loved the name. But in Miami, where the family emigrated, the elementary school kids weren’t quite as impressed. “It was hell being named that,” God's Power told Andy.

So hellish, in fact, that when God’s Power was in fourth grade, his mother, Nma, arranged for him to legally change his name to David. Yes, David. The papers were ready to to be signed. Nma told her son to think hard.

And as sure a sign as any that there is a God and that he has Power, the future NOTY No. 1 didn’t sign.

"This name has done everything for me," Offor said. "This name made me who I am."

And the family knows it. When Andy emailed us to make sure we hadn’t forgotten about God’s Power, we told him that God’s Power would, naturally, make the field of 64; Here's what Andy replied:

Awesome. G.P.’s dad called me wanting to know.

That’s right, people: Justice Offor called Andy Staples to inquire whether his son, God's Power, would be on the 2010 Name of the Year Ballot.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Sithole Regional note: No. 16 Peachy Trader has been INVALIDATED. The North Carolina Wesleyan women's basketball coach's name is actually Artina. Apologies for the lax verification. Heads will roll.

No. 1 God's Power Offor: Above.
No. 16 Spiral Lightninghawk: Minnesota shoplifter. With a neck tattoo!
No. 8 Special Jennings: Xavier women's basketball player.
No. 9 Syessence Davis: New Jersey girls h.s. basketball player.

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2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 4

2010-03-27T22:41:00.005-04:00

Congratulations to LaceDarius Dunn of the Baylor Bears, whom we just watched sleepwalk through a halftime interview on CBS! LaceDarius didn’t have what it takes make the NOTY field of 64 when he was nominated in 2008. But he’s just a game away from the NCAA Final Four. Better than nothing, kid.

As for other remaining NCAA tournament names, we also like LaceDarius's mellifluous teammate Quincy Acy (fellow Bear Tweety Carter's first name is, alas, actually Demond -- pronounced DEE-mond, his player bio helpfully reports); Cam Thoroughman of West Virginia; Shelvin Mack and Avery Jukes of Butler; and Melvin Goins and Skylar McBee of Tennessee, all of whom retain their NOTY eligibility for 2011. Duke, naturally, has no good names on its roster.

Breaking news in the bottom of the Bulltron Regional: No. 7 seed Two Willis has been INVALIDATED. Turns out his birth name is Charles Willis II. Take off your helmet, son. You, over there, you're in. Good luck. You'll need it.

No. 7 : Nu'Keese Richardson: Former Tennessee football wide receiver/attempted robber.
No. 10 Dr. Speedy Nutz: California dentist.
No. 2 X'Zavier Bloodsaw: NAIA Texas College QB. Not a very good team.
No. 15: Daron Populist: LSU guard.

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2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 3

2010-03-26T15:09:00.016-04:00

Yes, we intentionally paired No. 6 Stalin Felipe and No. 11 Hitler Makofane. Can you blame us? But the possibility of a Hitler-Hannukkah second-round smackdown? We honestly didn't notice until it was pointed out. History just happens.

And what's up anyway with Hannukkah Wallace, a Jamaican bobsledder (and former sprinter) who, sadly, failed to qualify for the Vancouver Games? The AP investigates:

His mother was pregnant with him and working at a jewelry store at the airport in Kingston. A tourist suggested "Hanukkah" for her soon-to-be-born son's name. Somehow, the extra "n" got into the mix, for reasons that Wallace never understood.

Of course, that doesn't explain why mom took the tourist's suggestion. But there may be a simple cultural reason. According to a lengthy and interesting Hannukkah-prompted discussion on Language Log, a blog affiliated with the Institute for Research in Cognitive Science at the University of Pennsylvania, Jamaicans are pretty laissez faire namers. (Usain, anyone?) Bonus detail: One commenter said her husband trained with Hannukkah and "did not know if Hanukkah [sic] was Jewish, but he pronounced it "Ha-NOO-kuh."

Baruch atah Adonai. The contestants:

No. 3 Hannukkah Wallace: See above.
No. 14 Cynnamon Crabb: Wife of Iowa copper thief.
No. 6 Stalin Felipe: Falsely accused Hofstra student. (Don't be afraid to use your cellphone video camera!)
No. 11 Hitler Makofane: South African soccer player.

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2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 2

2010-03-25T22:47:00.013-04:00

Yes, we concede that Lolita Respectnothing was underseeded -- "criminally," according to one commenter -- at the top of the Bulltron. We accept the blame. We've grown a bit numb to Native American names; after Vernon Kills On Top and Chief Kickingstallionsims, what's left to say, really? But while the Respectnothing might have felt gimmicky, the Lolita should have put her over the (Kills On) top. Light of my life, fire of my loins. Sorry, Lo.

Onward:

No. 5 Dirk Kool: South Dakota State linebacker. And he's punted!
No. 12 Sequoyah Stonecipher: Minor league outfielder. Middle name is Trueblood.
No. 4 Jesus Leonardo: OTB scavenger. Seriously, he scavenges for tickets at an OTB parlor in Manhattan.
No. 13 Indiana Faithfull: Maine h.s. basketball player. (Yes, it should be two L's.)

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2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 1

2010-03-25T10:15:00.011-04:00

It starts with the Georgetown-Princeton of NOTY 1-16 matchups. And it gets better from there.

We begin with the top quarter of the Bulltron Regional, named for Hall of Name inaugural class member and convicted felon Assumption Bulltron.

In the interest of time -- mine -- early voting will proceed the same way as last year. Fill out the first two rounds of your NOTY ballot. Then vote for whoever advances.

No. 1 Nohjay Nimpson: Triple-jumper and biology major at St. Joe's.
No. 16 Lolita Respectnothing: Colorado girls h.s. basketball player and Oglala Sioux.
No. 8 Rich Tanguy: Mid-level healthcare sales executive.
No. 9 Courvoisier Riley: Not-particularly-smart Arkansas robber.

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2010 NOTY: The Podcast

2010-03-24T20:08:00.005-04:00

The NOTY Seeding Committee Meeting was a Capitol affair this year. The wind was whipping down the outdoor pathways of power. Packs of earnest young Model Congresspeople strode by on their way to Change -- nay, Save -- the World. Bureaucrats broke from their stressful 7-3:30 jobs for powerless lunches at Au Bon Pain. People wondered what the hell the guy with the headphones on was doing.

Our business was far more important than anything transpiring down the block in the Dirksen Senate Office Building. The questions at our hand would change the course of NOTY. To wit:

Should SummerStarr Grey make it past the first cut? Is Rejoice Oldjohn at this point just another African name? Cinnamon Frost or Cynammon Crabb? Have we had it with legal name changers like Captain Danger Awesome? (We have.) Is Spontaneous Gordon an instantaneous No. 1 seed? Is Dick Mingalone a worthy representative of the Dick party? Can he fill the designated Dick slot if Dick Smallberries Jr. can't fulfill his duties? Should legacy Wonderful Terrific Monds II get a ballot slot, or is it one NOTY nomination per family? And what of the late Savior God-Scientific Allah, a Detroit boy who tragically fell out of a window and died? Will his multidenominational name live on in NOTY?

We answer those pressing questions, and more, in the 2010 NOTY Seeding Committee Meeting Podcast. Bang it here to listen now.

Your 2010 Name of the Year Ballot

2010-03-24T10:30:00.008-04:00

Each spring at NOTY, we experience the Five Stages of Name.

First is anticipation. The mere prospect of moniker upon magic moniker triggers paroxysms of delight: Tis the night before Dionte Christmas. But then fear sets in. What if this is the year without a Barkevious Mingo, a Destiny Frankenstein, a Vanilla Dong? What if this year’s NOTY doesn’t live up to the glory of the past?

The fear subsides when we crack open the inbox -- it used to be a manila folder -- and peruse the names we’ve stored and ignored for months. Relief. We are Columbus sighting land. Armstrong setting boot on moon. Prometheus discovering fire. And if Prometheus’s last name is -- well, if it’s anything, really -- we are stoked.

Panic is next. How many emails? Five hundred? Six hundred? A thousand? How many names to verify? Price and Waterhouse, it turns out, are unavailable during tax season. (Send applications for 2011 NOTY Intern to nameoftheyear@gmail.com.) It seems an impossible task, clearing the onomastic Augean Stables, separating the DeJuan Wheat from the Rick Chaff.

But we click and click. And chortle and guffaw. And finish. Earlier we mentioned 278 nominees. Well, we accepted another five; good to have you, ShaMiracle Johnson. Four others were excised. Nicknames are out, Tiny Gallon and Munchie Legaux. And you, Gelo Orange? Fourteenth place in 2007 wasn’t good enough?

And then we took the final 279 and we gathered -- this year, sadly, only two of us -- just blocks from the Supreme Court, in the event of an emergency cert petition for ballot inclusion. For three hours, we laughed and cried and dinged and whittled the field first down to 120 or so and then to the final 64 you’re probably reading instead of this.

Pride. Joy. Accomplishment. Anticipation again: Who will be the 2010 Name of the Year?

Yes, we know, that last stage included four emotions. Whatever. Here's the ballot in printable form. It's part Pennsylvania Quakers, part David Letterman, all retro, all Bulltron Regional No. 5 seed Dirk Kool. Study. Analyze. Enjoy. Prepare to exercise your democratic freedom.

Online voting begins shortly.

A round of applause for twoeightnine design for this year's brilliant logo and ballot.

Who Will Be the Next Mingo?

2010-03-11T10:00:00.014-05:00

In the aftermath of last year’s Name of the Year Tournament, we wondered whether there’s any work left to be done here. What mountains can be climbed, what streams forded, what galaxies far, far away explored that Barvkevious Mingo -- lord and master, Steampunk Emperor of the Kingdom of Mingovia, 2009 Name of the Year -- has not already climbed, forded and explored?

And then our inbox began to fill.

In this crazy name game, as in life, possibility keeps us young. One day in the early 1990s, Assumption Bulltron appears in a sworn affidavit and we think the pinnacle has been reached. Then along come Crescent Dragonwagon and Nimrod Weiselfish and Tanqueray Beavers and Vanilla Dong and, our friend, Destiny Frankenstein and the great and powerful Mingo to remind us that this big, blue marble is filled with mind-blowing names.

This year, a hell of a lot of them. The NOTY Seeding Committee is running a bit behind schedule this year, but rest assured it is not shirking its solemn task. We received more than 400 nominations from you, The People, for the 2010 Name of the Year. We tossed out the obvious nonstarters -- fans of Asian-themed phallic allusions will be disappointed -- and compiled a list of only the most worthy. That 278 names turned out to be “most worthy” is at once a spine-tingling testament to the onomastic smorgasbord of the human race and a daunting freaking challenge. The NCAA thinks it has reason to expand to 96? We could go 256 in a heartbeat.

But we won’t do that. Because it would be an insane clerical task. So we’ll do the painful job that we are charged with doing: whittling the field down to the most most worthy 64. Will photographer Coke Wisdom O’Neal -- nominee No. 1 on our list -- make the cut? How about No. 22 Nohjay Nimpson, a track and fielder at St. Joe's? Is No. 66 Spontaneous Gordon, whose car crashed into a bus in Delaware, an instantaneous No. 1 seed? Might she (yes, Spontaneous is a she) encounter the wrath of Mississippi high-school football player Furious Bradley, No. 105? What of highly touted nominee No. 115, Florida h.s. defensive end God's Power Offor? He told NOTY friend Andy Staples of SI.com that "this name has done everything for me." Everything, that is, except win NOTY. So far.

Can No. 138 Spartacus Bernstein of Brooklyn ride a golden chariot to the Sweet 16? Will he and No. 16, Princeton astrophysicist Aristotle Socrates, and No. 133, Massachusetts high-school baseball player Romulus Marino, and No. 205, Indian cricketer Napoleon Einstein, make this an historic ballot?

Will it be a blessed Shabbat for No. 38, Jamaican bobsledder Hannukkah Wallace? Will No. 113 Karma Sherpa continue the proud tradition of New York City cabbies on the NOTY ballot? Should we record the name of No. 137, convicted New Hampshire drug operative Pencilman Jeffries, in graphite or ink?

No. 184, golf coach Pina Gentile? No. 186, Evansville guard Shy Ely? No. 216, Virginia Tech footballer Nubian Peak? No. 246, Colorado high schooler Lolita Respectnothing? No. 250, Milwaukee student Dinero Fudge? No. 270, victim-of-the-economy Waver Brickhouse? No. 274, Kentucky defensive tackle Mister Cobble? No. 278, Texas university president Flavius Killibrew?

Is any of them the next Mingo? Can there be a next Mingo? And what of the Steampunk Emperor? How’s our divine leader doing on the playing fields of Baton Rouge?

According to LSU head coach Les Miles, after redshirting his freshman season and converting from linebacker, Mingo could see some time at defensive end in third-down situations this fall.

“He can be a guy who puts his hand on the ground and comes off the edge and give us a pass rush,” Miles said. “He's maturing and will be good enough there. Certainly with time, he'll be potentially a great player."

All hail Mingo! He will putteth his hand on the ground and scorcheth the FieldTurf! He will vanquish SEC offensive linemen coming off his sharp and fearsome edge! He will be good enough there -- and potentially great!

We’ll be back soon with the 2010 ballot, or at least another update.

2009 NOTY: Media Roundup

2009-05-01T22:17:00.000-04:00

Not in our wildest dreams did we ever think our little sophomoric pastime (literally; we were sophomores) would prompt worldwide attention. But it has.

We've talked about NOTY on the radio in Australia. We were supposed to talk about it on the radio in Ireland, but we never made it happen. We've made the New York Times (digitally) and the Chicago Tribune (dead tree). In the university of the sports blogosphere, we are adjunct faculty. If the media economy weren't in a state, we're sure we'd have been acquired by now.

The crowning of Barkevious Mingo as the 2009 NOTY has been a media sensation. The Steampunk Empereor was worthy of a column item in the New Zealand Herald in the great city of Auckland (they love us Down Under). The name-obsessed Freakonomics guys dutifully followed up on their Times blog. Our new friend Caleb Hannan at the Nashville Scene kindly offered "kudos to the anonymous Ivy League Politburo [that's us] for once again providing the world with 10-15 minutes of pleasant distraction."

World, you're welcome.

Hosannas are nice, but as recovering newspapermen (well, as one recovering newspaperman; sometimes the first-person plural doesn't work), nothing has warmed our hearts this NOTY season quite like two stories, one each from the bases of our finalists. The Kalamazoo Gazette -- "Best Local Connection" in Iris Macadangdang's hometown -- treated the NOTY final like a high-school basketball game covered pyramid-style by the AP:

After defeating such worthy opponents as Velvet Milkman and Dr. Shasta Kielbasa, former Kalamazoo-area resident Iris Macadangdang lost Tuesday to No. 4 seed Barkevious Mingo in the 2009 Name of the Year contest.

Mingo, a Louisiana native, took 34 states and 54 percent of the more than 10,000 online votes to beat No. 1 seed and 2004 Comstock High School graduate Macadangdang.

First started in the 1980s in an Ivy League dorm room to highlight unique names of professional athletes, the Name of the Year contest is now hosted on a blog...

Let's write the headline, shall we? Area Woman Runner Up in Name of Year Contest. Because you have to love Area Man and Area Woman, staples of fine local journalism since 1887. (That wasn't the actual headline, which is even straighter.) The paper, to its journalistic credit, did track down Iris, and dutifully reports her age (23) and majors at Michigan (poli sci and Spanish) and the fact that she was the victim of the occasional onomastic jibe as a child (who wasn't?).

"I didn't think that my name was that out of the ordinary,'' she said. "I was definitely surprised to be nominated."

Which brings us to the student journalists at LSU, future home of the Steampunk Emperor. David Helman of The Daily Reveille wrote perhaps the most excellent game-story cum man-on-the-street story we have ever read. Not only did David interview Spencer Hall aka Orson Swindle (actual human, in case you were unaware), he pounded the pavement, from the football field to the drama department, assembling reaction to Mingo's triumph. Sweetheart, get me copy.

"First of all, that’s crazy," said Kelvin Sheppard, LSU junior linebacker. "That’s out of all the crazy names in America, and he finished first. That’s pretty cool."

"That’s pretty awesome, I’m not going to lie," said Lee Gresham, theatre freshman. "I have a feeling he’s going to be a fan favorite with LSU fans, because that’s pretty funny."

There's even a to-be-sure quote!

"It’s just his name," said Brittany Gay, graphic design freshman. "Why does that matter? Can he play good?"

Good, well, whatever. As long as there are reporters like David Helman, we're sure the future of journalism is in excellent hands.

Oh, the High Committee Picked a Winner, Too

2009-04-28T23:00:00.005-04:00

The NOTY High Committee is a gang of 12. A Politburo, really. Except that no one gets airbrushed out of the photo for violating party doctrine -- or the Dragonwagon Doctrine (governing legal name changes) or the Sithole Doctrine (governing pronunciation). That's because there is no party doctrine.

Instead, the High Committee has gathered amiably and annually since 1989 -- happy anniversary to us! -- with the sole purpose of selecting a Name of the Year. Magnus Pelkowski was the winner two decades ago. Everyone got hammered. There was even property damage.

The winner's name was tucked in a folder until next year. Sure, outsiders often submitted choices or, after the introduction of the 64-name bracket in 1998, their completed ballots, which we usually ignored. Then, in 2007, NOTY went global (and everything changed). We, the High Committee, still pick. But we have ceded the stage to you, the People.

The first year of popular balloting, we all agreed on Vanilla Dong. Last year we parted company. We got it right: Destiny Frankenstein. You got it wrong: Spaceman Africa. This year, you got it right (sayeth this Committee member). We, the Politburo, got it wrong.

Not that our winner, Dragonwagon Regional No. 2 seed Juvyline Cubangbang of Sacramento isn't a high-quality name. It is. Her improbable first name conjures a fountain of youth. Her repetitive surname -- you're dead! -- is as musical as it is formidable. You're no Steampunk Emperor, but here's to you anyway, Juvyline Cubangbang. (And a small consolation to Macadangdang fans: You beat Mingo, who had trouble inside the Bulltron Region, by a point!)

Here's the High Committee's Top 10 (on a 25-15-10-7-5-2 scoring system):

1. Juvyline Cubangbang 140 points (3 first-place votes)
2. Nutritious Love 121 (2)
3. Iris Macadangdang 108 (1)
4. Barkevious Mingo 107 (3)
5. Rev. Valentine Handwerker 80
6. Hung The Dang 74
7. Chastity Clapp 66 (1)
8. Uranus Golden 59
9. Taco Vandervelde 55
10. Velvet Milkman 49

Believe it or not, Zeppy O'Green and Virginia Woo-Raspberry each tallied one first-place vote. Let the airburshing begin.

To Lord Mingo's Glory Sing

2009-04-28T13:39:00.010-04:00

Let the reveling begin! Lord Barkevious Mingo hath proclaimed today a day of celebration for all Mingovians of his greatest victory, that of the 2009 Name of the Year Tournament. Charity Day commenceth with the singing of the national anthem:

Mingovia the Great! Mingovia the Good!
The land of smoking craters
where once our en'mies stood...
The sunny pines of Barko! The brothelettes of Ming!
Let every filthy parcel
To Lord Mingo's glory sing!
Vanquished if you’re lucky – far worse if you should lag
In battle with Lord Mingo
You’ll end up bound and gagged
Today we feed the Kraken – Sweet Bubbles, Mingo's pet!
We sing as we make foes
Into Kraken-sized croquettes.
Now Mingo at the balcony – Our Steampunk Emperor, hail!
Half linebacker, half god,
Our love-shall–nehh-vaaaaaar FAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!

It continueth with

a feast, with a roasted ostrich in every square and fountains of mead all around.

And it concludeth with

public sex and the killing of one – THAT’S JUST ONE, PEOPLE – servant for sport.

Tis a great day for all Mingovia, for victor and vanquished alike, for all who have participated in the 2009 Name of the Year Tournament.

Hail, Mingo!

Thanks, as always, to the Karl Rove of the Mingo campaign, Orson Swindle of Every Day Should Be Saturday, and to Mingo's art director, the incomparable LSUFreek.

Barkevious Mingo: Lord, Master, 2009 Name of the Year

2009-04-27T23:59:00.006-04:00

Commence the tolling of the bells and the slaying of the fatted calves and the overturning of the motor vehicles: Barkevious Mingo is the 2009 Name of the Year.

The People – of Mingovia and elsewhere – have spoken loudly and clearly and with no apparent computer manipulation. After a month-long campaign, the West Monroe, La., native, future LSU outside linebacker and Bulltron Regional No. 4 seed defeated the spunky Michigan grad and Chrotchtangle Regional No. 1 seed Iris Macadangdang.

A record-shattering 10,400-plus votes were cast, for which the NOTY High Committee thanks you. Barkevious (the Victorious) captured 36 states and the District of Columbia and 54 percent of the popular vote. (They voted in France, too, or at least in French.) Remarkably, Mingo's march to glory caused no fatalities, leaving behind only the tattered souls and shattered egos of his worthy but vanquished opponents: Iona Knipl, Atilla Bucko, Chew Kok, Taco Vandervelde, Crystal Metheny, Nutritious Love and his final conquest, the mellifluous Iris. (For the record, Love finished third, and Velvet Milkman took fourth.)

Macadangdang – we could say that all day – was no slouch. The Kalamazoo native corresponded with us, which we love, and her own faithful created campaign posters in her honor (left), which, alas, we didn't see until now. Those who failed to appreciate the onomastic beauty in the pairing of her old-school first name and her assonant surname are NOTY naifs. Don’t listen to them, Iris. We loved you from the beginning.

But we didn't love you that much. There was no stopping the Steampunk Emperor, nor should there have been. To paraphrase the great Pele, say with me three times: Barkevious Mingo. Barkevious Mingo. And Barkevious Mingo. His first name isn’t just creative; there have been plenty of those before. It’s mind-blowingly one of a kind. Think about it (not too hard): What possible etymology or explanation can “Barkevious” have? (Note to beat reporters of Baton Rouge: Ask him.) And to pair it with a surname that sounds like a '50s dance or an ESPN catch-phrase or a social disease, well, the heart flutters. Prediction: first-ballot election to the Hall of Name in 2011.

So sound the trumpets. Spread rose petals along the footpaths. Let a thousand doves soar. All hail Barkevious Mingo, the 2009 Name of the Year.

2009 NOTY: Joy to the World

2009-04-23T00:20:00.006-04:00

We remarked not long ago that a reprise of last year's Destiny Frankenstein-Spaceman Africa knucklechucker might be more than one man (or one Committee) could fairly ask for. Well, life it seems is indeed not fair. It is something much more than fair. You the People are making Mingo-Macadangdang a NOTY final for the ages. As I type this, strongman Barkevious leads humblewoman Iris by just 110 votes out of a (non-computer-enhanced) record of more than 8,000 cast.

This year's tournament has drawn drawn plenty of attention on these here interwebs -- even in the pixellated version of an old gray lady. As always, the names do the work. We merely bask in their reflected glory. But bask happily we do, our birthday suits slathered in Coppertone. The particularly astute Caleb Hannan of the Nashville Scene observes that NOTY

is the kind of phenomenon that proves, without a doubt, that whatever you think of the internet and all the porn, identity theft and likely exploitation of minors that comes with it, there's no question that the set of tubes has brought all of humanity a level of joy and boredom-relief previously thought unattainable.

Hear, hear, young Caleb. Now we can die in peace.

The battle lines remain drawn. The Mingovians continue to marshal their forces -- now even with song. The Macadangdangites are taking a more Gandhi-like approach, yet proving no less effective.

A reminder: The polls will remain open until we decided to close them sometime late Monday. So vote either by clicking here or by scrolling down just a little bit, stopping to cast a ballot if you choose in the third-place contest before proceeding to the final.

Thanks to Every Day Should Be Saturday commenter vegas_buckeye for Mingobama.

2009 NOTY: Third-Place Game

2009-04-21T21:06:00.012-04:00

Not without reason has the consolation game gone the way of the short short and the set shot and the flannel uni and the single-bar facemask. After failing to win the big prize, the competitors have had enough. They'd just as soon pack up their things and get back to their daily lives. Another game? You've got to be kidding. Fans are just playing along, too. This promises to be one of the most desultory contests we've ever witnessed yet we will watch out of warped loyalty to you whom we don't know personally! The Olympics manage to get around this problem, sort of, by handing out dun-colored medals. But, believe us, the players aren't fooled. We saw the U.S. men "win" the bronze at the Athens Games in 2004. Tim Duncan would have rather been watching rhythmic gymnastics. Hell, he would have rather been competing in rhythmic gymnastics.

And yet we love the third-place game the way we love the short short and the flannel uni and the single-bar facemask -- especially the single-bar facemask: for its throwbackness, to a time when we cared (maybe) a little bit more about the spirit of competition and the glory of the fight (or at least to a time when marketeers hadn't figured out that no one gave a shit). Not to date ourselves or anything, but our favorite third-place game was the 1979 NCAA consolation between Penn and DePaul. Penn had just, um, lost to Michigan State by a score of 101-67. It wasn't as close as the score indicates. The Quakers trailed 31-6 and 50-17. The defeat was, obviously, utterly humiliating, even if Magic Johnson was the primary perpetrator. But Penn was required to return to play DePaul for no absolutely no good reason. They lost in overtime, 96-93. But who cared? The game was a happy reminder that an Ivy League team had made it to the Final Four, and a way to recover from the annihilation by Michigan State. Two years later, the NCAA ditched the third-place game.

As the lines to cast a ballot in the 2009 NOTY Final snake around the block -- the Mingovians and Macadangdangians are locked in an epic battle -- we decided to heed the call of at least one commenter and revive the tradition of the pointless consolation. Vote carefully, People. Absolutely nothing is on the line.

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2009 NOTY Final: Barkevious Mingo v. Iris Macadangdang

2009-04-20T12:30:00.008-04:00

One is a high-profile football recruit, the other a modest political science/Spanish major. One is from the South, the other from up North. They represent big conferences – the SEC and the Big Ten – but what else would you expect for the final of a tournament with a field of 64? Both have powerful grassroots interweb advocacy groups.

Bulltron Regional No. 4 seed Barkevious Mingo has been the force of the 2009 NOTY Tournament, racking up the biggest margins and – ahem – biggest vote totals so far. We are already on record as backers of the West Monroe, La., native, incoming LSU linebacker and Steampunk Emperor of the Kingdom of Mingovia. His name is a going-both-ways thing of beauty. Barkevious rallies the base not from us, however, but via the many proclamations issued on his behalf by puppetmaster Orson Swindle of the college-football blog Every Day Should Be Saturday.

Chrotchtangle Regional No. 1 seed Iris Macadangdang has been derided by some as an unworthy finalist. But her indigeneous Filipino name – not especially common, she tells us in an email sent to correct some facts we lifted from an outdated bio – is undeniably mellifluous, and paired with her old-school first name qualifies for NOTY greatness. The 2008 Michigan grad from Kalamazoo is by all accounts a lovely person. She even dabbles in ballroom dancing! (Yo, Dancing With the Stars . You love football players. How about a Mingo-Macadangdang tandem next season?) Iris draws online support from her acolytes at MGoBlog – and a Facebook group organized by her friends.

Cast your ballot. Voting continues through next Monday, April 27.

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Your 2009 NOTY Finalists

2009-04-19T22:23:00.006-04:00

For the title of 2009 Name of the Year and all its attendant glory -- and it's a lot -- it has come down to this:

Bulltron Regional No. 4 seed Barkevious Mingo v. Chrotchtangle Regional No. 1 seed Iris Macadangdang.

Voting begins tomorrow. Thank you for your patronage.

A Word from the NOTY Committee

2009-04-18T23:37:00.015-04:00

1. Final Four balloting ends in approximately 24 hours. The vote to determine the 2009 Name of the Year (People's Division) will begin on Monday.

2. We strongly suspect voting irregularities in both Final Four matches. And we regret not having invited the Carter Center to observe the process from the outset. But it's too late now. We see no recourse but to let the outcomes stand. We failed to take preventive measures until after the ballot boxes apparently had been stuffed. For that, we apologize.

3. Even if we threw out the 7,000 or so votes for Barkevious Mingo that may have been registered either by someone in with way too much time on his hands or a computer proxy, the Lord of Mingovia would still be leading Nutritious Love by 1,000 votes. In any case, Tennessee -- apparent home of the URL reloader -- is dead to us.

4. Iris Macadangdang's current 13-1 margin in Michigan and the total number of reported votes there appear aberrational, even if she is a Wolverine. We fear that Velvet Milkman is getting jobbed. So attention people of Kentucky (that’s where Murray State is, right?): You have one day to rally support for your six-time Ohio Valley Conference champion women’s golf coach and husband of economics professor Martin Milkman. Get to work.

5. Several people have asked why a name disappeared from the original ballot. Because we received a request to remove it, and we’re reasonable people, that’s why.

6. We're not sure why we numbered our paragraphs, but we did.

Thanks again to Every Day Should Be Saturday for another brilliant Mingovian image.

2009 NOTY: The Final Four

2009-04-14T11:13:00.020-04:00

The road to the 2009 NOTY Final Four has ended. Let the voting begin. Both matchups are below. So vote in one, and then VOTE IN THE OTHER.

No. 4 Barkevious Mingo: Future LSU linebacker and current king of the kingdom rolled through the Bulltron Regional like Attila through Gaul.

No. 2 Nutritious Love: Sithole Regional champion is from Alabama, making this an intra-SEC tussle.

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No. 8 Velvet Milkman: The Murray State golf coach went

all Tiger Woods on favored Uranus Golden and Juvyline

Cubangbang in the Dragonwagon Regional.

No. 1 Iris Macadangdang: Undergraduate emerged from

a weak Chrotchtangle Regional by defeating Dr. Shasta

Kielbasa and Chuck Fugger.

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A Word from the NOTY Committee

2009-04-14T09:59:00.011-04:00

The question of the day seems to be this: Where would Barkevious Mingo be absent the backing of the citizens of Mingovia?

It is true that the Bulltron Regional No. 4 seed, LSU linebacking recruit and ruler of all he surveys is benefiting mightily from his minions. He trailed Crystal Metheny in Elite Eight voting when the trumpets blared. The polls have been closed for 12 hours, but the populace continues to back its king; he's over 60 percent now.

And now the calls to arms for the Final Four and beyond have begun. Quoth a Barkevious liegeman named Harris:

Velvet Milkman will be tough competition and Nutritious Love is no slouch. Rise, Mingovians. Show them the bloody fate of all those who would dare challenge Mingovia and her Ruthless Leader.

Last year, we witnessed similar advocacy on behalf of the eventual People's champion. Spaceman Africa didn't have the fan base of an SEC school working on his behalf, but he had acolytes around the globe who, in a pre-Facebook, pre-Twitter world, spread his campaign via smoke signal, Telex, carrier pigeon, word of mouth and plain old-fashioned email. Imagine. We didn't endorse Africa's quest -- we were in the bag for Destiny Frankenstein, the High Committee's resounding choice -- but we were powerless to stop it.

This year, we like Barkevious a lot. His adjectival first name is you-can't-make-this-stuff-up original. ("I'm feeling rather Barvekious today. You?") His quick, retro and unusual surname trampolines off of an energetic common word (bingo!) and even a wonderful 1970s NBA name (ring-winning New York Knicks fan favorite Harthorne Wingo). Around these parts, Rule No. 1 of onomastic greatness is that a name should have it going both ways. Barkevious Mingo has it going every way.

But that's beside the point, at least when it comes to rallying the troops. If backers of the pronunciationally questionable (not that that's ever stopped a name) Crystal Metheny wanted to halt the Crusade-like march of the Mingovians, they should have organized their own virtual militia. In America, that's how we roll.

So Nutritious Love, Velvet Milkman, Iris Macadangdang -- ye women of the 2009 NOTY Final Four -- the gauntlet has been thrown. Do you accept the challenge of Mingovia? Or do you capitulate without bowing an arrow or slinging a shot?

Spread the word. Get out the vote. Pick the best name.

Mingo dirigible courtesy of Every Day Should be Saturday.

2009 NOTY Final Four

2009-04-13T23:21:00.009-04:00

That's a boyband, believed to be Irish, named Final Four. And this is the 2009 NOTY Tournament Final Four, whom we'd love to see on stage together:

No. 4 Barkevious Mingo v. No. 2 Nutritious Love

No. 8 Velvet Milkman v. No. 1 Iris Macadangdang

Voting commences on Tuesday.

Elite Eight: Chrotchtangle Regional

2009-04-09T11:40:00.003-04:00

The last of the four Elite Eight matches. After you pick Iris or Chuck, scroll down and vote in the other three matches.

No. 1 Iris Macadangdang: One of her dorm-mates commented!
No. 7 Chuck Fugger: Mall executive.

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Elite Eight: Dragonwagon Regional

2009-04-09T11:21:00.003-04:00

Possibly the toughest Elite Eight matchup.

No. 8 Velvet Milkman: Murray State women's golf coach.
No. 2 Juvyline Cubangbang: Sacramentan.

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Elite Eight: Sithole Regional

2009-04-09T11:13:00.002-04:00

It's not Muskrat Love. It's Beaver-Love.

No. 4 Shavodrick Beaver: Texas quarterback recruit spurned Michigan.
No. 2 Nutritious Love: Alabama person adjourned Infinite McCloud.

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Elite Eight: Bulltron Regional

2009-04-09T10:53:00.004-04:00

Will the citizens of Mingovia rise again? Or will the unforseeable (at birth) pun pull an upset?

No. 4 Barkevious Mingo: 6-5, 210-pound incoming LSU linebacker; 800-pound NOTY force.
No. 7 Crystal Metheny: Iowa management-training executive.

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2009 NOTY: Your Elite Eight

2009-04-08T21:01:00.009-04:00

It's too bad that James Surowiecki already wrote his book about how groups of people make better decisions than individuals. Because this year's NOTY balloting would have made an excellent chapter. Cheers to you, The People, who are are advancing what we, The High Committee, consider the most deserving names in the 2009 field.

Here are your Elite Eight matchups:

Bulltron Regional
No. 4 Barkevious Mingo v. No. 7 Crystal Metheny: After their hero trailed in early voting to Taco Vandervelde, the citizens of Mingovia rode to the rescue. The demise of No. 3 seed Glorious Johnson? Possibly unjust, but we're also proud when The People pass up a cheap joke.

Sithole Regional
No. 4 Shavodrick Beaver v. No. 2 Nutritious Love: We had a soft spot for the defeated Calamity McEntire and Infinite McCloud, but this was simply a very strong region. We hate it when sportscasters lament that someone had to lose, but we lament that someone had to lose.

Dragonwagon Regional
No. 8 Velvet Milkman v. No. 2 Juvyline Cubangbang: Velvet sent Uranus Golden into orbit; she was, we admit, underseeded. Juvyline crushed Scorpio Babers with a field-leading 79 percent of the vote.

Chrotchtangle Regional
No. 1 Iris Macadangdang v. No. 7 Chuck Fugger: Farewell, Dr. Shasta Kielbasa. We were really hoping for Macadangdang-Dang regional final, but, in a squeaker, it was not to be.

Mingo art by LSU Freek via Every Day Should be Saturday.

Name of the Year

Sweet 16: Chrotchtangle Regional

Sweet 16: Dragonwagon Regional

Sweet 16: Sithole Regional

Sweet 16: Bulltron Regional

The Sweet 16

Chrotchtangle Regional, Second Round, Part 2

Chrotchtangle Regional, Second Round, Part 1

Dragonwagon Regional, Second Round, Part 2

Dragonwagon Regional, Second Round, Part 1

Sithole Regional, Second Round, Part 2

Sithole Regional, Second Round, Part 1

Bulltron Regional, Second Round, Part 2

Bulltron Regional, Second Round, Part 1

2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 4

2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 3

2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 2

2011 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 1

2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 4

2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 3

2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 2

2011 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 1

2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 4

2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 3

2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 2

2011 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 1

It's Tuesday!

2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 4

2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 3

2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 2

2011 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 1

Your 2011 Name of the Year Ballot

NOTY in SI

Follow Us

Is This the Dawning of the Age of Monquarius?

Your 2010 Name of the Year

2010 NOTY Final

Our (Not Your) 2010 Name of the Year

The Final Four

Elite Eight, Part 2

Elite Eight, Part 1

Sweet 16: A Word From the Commissioner

Sweet 16: Chrotchtangle Regional

Sweet 16: Dragonwagon Regional

Sweet 16: Sithole Regional

Sweet 16: Bulltron Regional

2010 NOTY: Sweet 16

NOTY in the NFL

Let's Vote, People

2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 4

2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 3

2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 2

2010 NOTY: Chrotchtangle Regional, Part 1

NOTY on Twitter

2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 4

2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 3

2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 2

Pardon the Interruption

NOTY on Facebook

2010 NOTY: Dragonwagon Regional, Part 1

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 4

Just So We're Clear

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 3

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 2

2010 NOTY: Sithole Regional, Part 1

2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 4

2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 3

2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 2

2010 NOTY: Bulltron Regional, Part 1

2010 NOTY: The Podcast

Your 2010 Name of the Year Ballot

Who Will Be the Next Mingo?

2009 NOTY: Media Roundup

Oh, the High Committee Picked a Winner, Too

To Lord Mingo's Glory Sing

Barkevious Mingo: Lord, Master, 2009 Name of the Year

2009 NOTY: Joy to the World

2009 NOTY: Third-Place Game

2009 NOTY Final: Barkevious Mingo v. Iris Macadangdang

Your 2009 NOTY Finalists